Sunday, April 03, 2011

Finding the Willpower to Move Inward and Downward

Wow - it's April.  Did you all know that?  Did you realize that we are already into the fourth month of the year? 

For the past couple of months, I've been coming up with mantras to help push me along.  February I introduced Strength, March gave me Determination....and now it's time for April.

This year hasn't really brought the progress that I was hoping - or planning - for.  My weight has gone up and down like a yo-yo...and in four months I have lost a total of 15lbs.  That's less than 5lbs a month!!  Definitely not the progress I thought I'd be sharing four months in to the year.

A loss is a loss, though, and I should be proud of at least losing something - and I am.

I'm not going to lie, but the last month or so has been difficult.  There have been more times that I care to share that I could have gone to the gym or out for a run, but opted not to.  I'm not sure if I would say that I've lost my dedication - because that's not really it at all.  I am dedicated.  I want to lose the weight.  I'm just not being as dedicated as I could be.  That make sense?

Yesterday, I shared how I had made a bad decision at a restaurant Friday night.  My lack of willpower took over in that situation, and left me feeling guilty.  I haven't been going to the gym or working out as much as I should - my lack of willpower is driving those decisions too. 

There's just a lack, somewhere, and I want it gone!!

Yesterday, I received a great comment on my post from Lessofme.  Her whole comment was great, but there was one part that really reached out and grabbed me.   She finished her comment by saying "onwards and upwards! (or should that be inwards (on the tape) and downwards (on the scales)?! "

I smiled after reading that, and then I realized how true it is.

We keep pushing ourselves to go "onwards and upwards" but aren't we really trying to go inwards and downwards?  I know I am.

At first, I was going to use that as this month's Mantra.  Then I decided that Inwards and Downwards is going to be my motto to represent all of the Mantras.  From this day forward, there will be no more onwards and, journey now takes me to INWARDS AND DOWNWARDS.

So, what is my new mantra for April?  Glad you you go....

Yep, you guessed it.  My Mantra for April is WILLPOWER!

It's time to get out of this rut once and for all.  I know I keep saying that... but it's time to finally do something about it.  There is only one reason that I have been stuck at the same weight for the past month - BECAUSE I'M NOT DOING ENOUGH!

Like I proved to myself, yesterday, Good Intentions can often lead to Bad Choices.  Every day I have Good Intentions whispering in my ear that I should go to the gym, or go out for a run....then I get in my car, and Bad Choices is there helping me drive all the way home and thinking of excuses as to why I shouldn't go.

It's the Angel and Demon on the shoulder situation.

Well, sorry Angel and Demon, as Donald Trump would say "YOU'RE FIRED!"  I don't need either one of you...all I need on my side now is Willpower.

Like a bolt of lightning crashing from the sky - I will crash through this plateau.  I will blow all of my feeble attempts and open promises away....and send shock waves through my system. 

On April 30th, I run the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure.  The race I've been preparing for since January.  The month has arrived, and it's no time to let my guard down now.

To help boost my Willpower, I have made myself a couple of goals that I want to achieve this month....
  • Run the RFTC in less than 40 minutes (tall order, but doable if I commit)
  • Lose 10lbs by race day
This morning, I stood on the scale and saw that haunting number once again: 214.6lbs.  The number that has haunted me, teased me, mocked me since February.  This month, it's going away for good.  On April 30th, I want to stand on the scale and see 204lbs...just 4lbs away from Onederland.

It's going to be a tough month, but I know that my WILLPOWER will be strong.

Till next time. ;)
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  1. Great April can do this!

  2. I hate those numbers that keep going and then coming back again. Mine has always been 12st 2lbs (or 170lbs) which is which is 2lbs less than I am at right now. Last time I got below it I promised myself I would never see it again. I feel a blog post coming on about why I didn't keep that promise. I'm sending my Angel and Demon the same way as yours. I don't need them.

  3. I have written that post I talked about before it got lost in my head. May I edit it to include a link to your blog in it?


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