Friday, September 02, 2011

*Insert Nasally Singing Voice* It's Friday, Friday....

Have you all heard that song from Rebecca Black?  Surely you have, if you're not living under a rock.

I will admit, I've only heard the chorus...any more than that, and I would have poked my ears with pencils.

I can't stand it.  But it makes a good title for today's blog.

Just for the record, I can't believe that girl has a record contract.  All because she sang a song badly that got a gazillion hits on You Tube.  What's up with that?  I'm no Whitney Houston, but I think I can sing better under water than she can on You Tube....where's my record contract?

Don't worry - I'm not in a grumpy mood.... just making an observation.

So, it's Friday... the last day of the week.  A three day weekend is approaching...and I'm excited. 

I'm going to be going to my parent's house on Sunday for a cook-out.  My brother, who I haven't seen in about 5 years is coming to visit.  I get to see my niece who was just a baby the last time I saw her, and my nephew - whom I've never met, and he's about 3 (I think).

Just typing that makes me sad.

I know I've mentioned this before, but I just don't get it when a family member disappears off the radar for 5 years.  OK, so there has been some phone calls between him and my and there... but to not see your family for that long?  I just couldn't deal.

It really makes me wonder how siblings can all be so different from one another.  I mean, I call my mom or she calls me every single day.  We visit each other often.  My youngest brother and sister (who still live at home) come and stay at my house quite a bit, and my own children go and stay with their grandparents quite a bit.  It's just how things should be - in my mind.

Growing up, I was always very close to my grandparents.  I loved going to visit my grandparents.  I just couldn't imagine my parents not being that type of grandparents to my children.  They are.  My kids LOVE going over there....and it makes me so sad that my parents have grandchildren that they've never met or haven't seen in years.

I want to point out that I'm not bashing my brother.... I'm just stating some observations.  I don't know what causes him to stay away for so long.... I wouldn't know because I never speak to him.  There are no phone calls, no emails.  He's my friend on Facebook - but even then, there's no exchange of "how you doing?"  I just don't hear from him.

My parents are the temporary guardians of two of their grandchildren.  I'm not going to even start on that story... but they are my sister's kids.  Once again, another child that strayed from everything I believe in, in terms of family.

I have another brother that lives in Virginia, I think.  He calls my mom now and then to check in - much more often than the brother that's coming to visit - but still rarely in comparison to how much I talk to my parents. 

When I think about my kids getting older, and moving on with their lives, I wonder what they'll be like in terms of staying in contact with me. 

I mean, I'm 29 years old - and I just couldn't imagine going any length of time without talking to my mom.  My day just isn't right if I haven't spent at least 5 minutes on the phone with her.

Peanut often makes fun of me about it.  When the phone rings, she'll roll her eyes and say "how can you guys have so much to talk about?  You just spoke to her yesterday." When I tell her that when she's older, she'll do the same thing... she laughs and disagrees.  That's when I start getting a little defensive.... yes, with my 11 year old....don't judge!  I tell her that I will call her and if she doesn't answer, I will get in the car or on a plane (if I have to) and hunt her down.  She laughs, but I think she knows I'm not joking.

I tell her that when she's grown, I want her to have a relationship with me like I have with my mother.  Peanut has big plans for her future... moving away is one of those plans.  Not so she can get far away from me - because she has career goals such as being a marine biologist.  It's kind of hard to work with sea creatures in Arkansas.  I get that.  But, whether she lives 30 minutes away or thousands of miles...there's no reason why we still can't be close.

How freakin' cool is it that I have an 11 year old that wants to be a marine biologist??  I'm all for it... not only is it a fascinating and wonderful career choice - but that means she'll probably live by the beach!!  Hello awesome summer vacations!!

What I said above goes for Butter and Jelly, too.

Twenty years from now, when someone says "how are you kids doing?"  I dont' want my response to be "I have no idea, I haven't spoken to them in months".  Just the thought gives me stomach knots.

Or if someone says "I hear that Butter had a baby a couple of years ago, what's it like being a grandma?" I don't want to respond with "well, I haven't been given the chance to see the baby yet but from what I've seen on Facebook, he's adorable!"  Nope... can't happen.  Won't happen.

Family bond is so important to me - I just don't get how it's not for my siblings.  My parents always instilled family values, gave us good memories, and we all had a great childhood.  Sure, there were rough times - but mostly caused by us kids doing things we shouldn't.  That's in the past...we're all adults now. 

Maybe that's it.  Maybe in their minds, the bond between child and parent gets broken the day they turned 18.  Not to me... it's stronger now.  I don't count on my parents like I did as a child.... I count on them to be grandparents.  I count on them to give me advice on how to be a parent.  I couldn't imagine not having that.  It makes my life easier, better... knowing that they are just a phone call away when I need to talk to them.... a car ride away when I want to see them. 

OK, I think I've poured my heart out enough for one day.... time to get ready for work.

If you have siblings - are there certain aspects that make you wonder how you came from the same gene pool?  I'd like to hear your thoughts on the subject.

Till next time. ;)
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  1. My family is extremely close too. Now I wish my brother were a little more communicative but he is loving and supportive so I forgive this of him. But my brother and I have an interesting relationship anyway. I have AD/HD and he is borderline Aspergers so I am too social and he is anti-social but there is a lot of love and we do the best we can.

  2. I recently found out that my Mom only hears from my brother a few times a month. I'm like you and talk with her almost every day especially since I'm half way around the country. I think I was bitching about the fact that said brother hadn't answered an email of mine in a week yet had made twenty updates to his blog. I mentioned that I thought it was odd that they spoke so infrequently, then she said that she never wanted either of us to feel obligated to call - that she remembers how hard it was for my father to call his mother every week (completely different situation, that woman had issues). That just made me feel awful.

  3. This post REALLY hit home. Most of my family is very close but we do have some family drama happening that is very hard, especially when it comes to my mom. I am not sure there is a way to fix it and that makes it harder.


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