Wednesday, September 07, 2011

Ssshhhh, I'm Not Going To Tell

I bet you think I have a big secret to share - don't you?

Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you - but I don't.

Wait!! Don't stop reading!  I still have something to say - just not a big, juicy secret.

I know that yesterday was confession day - but I have to confess, today, that I didn't go for a run yesterday evening.

*Insert dramatic teenager whiny voice*  It's not my fault!  I had a meeting after work that was supposed to last 15 or 20 minutes, and it ended up lasting an hour and fifteen minutes.  Then, I had to rush home and get some work done - that I was doing until 9pm last night by the way!   Throw in dinner and True Blood...and...well...there just wasn't any time.

Before getting any comments about True Blood, I watched it while I was eating dinner.  That's neither here nor there, though.... because if I'm being honest (and you know that's how I roll) True Blood has become quite the addiction for me.  It was bad enough that I had to wait since Sunday to watch it cause I had so much going on.  One more night may just have killed me.  Priorities, people!! If you watch True Blood, then you know exactly what I mean.

Hey! I saw that eye roll.  I know it all sounds like a big excuse, but I was really bummed that I didn't get to go.  I looked forward to it all day....and I had it planned out to do the minute I got home after my FIFTEEN minute meeting.  The hour I was going to spend running was interrupted by the said meeting. 

I've been noticing a pattern with all of this, though.

Every time I announce that I'm going to do something like go for a run - something happens to interrupt it, and then I have to come here with my tail between my legs and admit that I didn't do it.

I don't like that feeling.

I think it's much more fun to come here and yell "GUESS WHAT? I did *fill in the blank* today" and have you all post how proud you are of me doing it.  When it comes off as spontaneous, it's much more enjoyable to reap the credit of actually doing, that's what I'm a gonna do.

I always feel so let down when I post small goals - and then I don't achieve them.

So, my new goal is to keep my plans to myself - until after I have done them.  That way, you won't know whether or not I didn't do something...and I can work on coming up with ways to surprise you with good things I do.

Now, I understand that many of you like the honest approach I use on my blog.  That's not going to change.  When I'm struggling, you guys will know.  It's not about not ever talking about what I want to do - or plan to do.... I'm just talking about the little things, like going for a run or eating healthy all week long.  Little things that have a huge impact on me if I fail.

Fail is not the right word.  Don't do...that's better.  If I don't do something I said I would do - then I feel bad about I think it's better for everyone if I just keep those plans to myself until after they are achieved.  That way, I feel better about myself - and you don't have to read boring crap like I'm spewing out right now....full of excuses and all.

Of course, I'll still share other goals with you guys....the big ones.  Like wanting to get down below 210lbs by Thanksgiving.  Thanksgiving is the start of a usual downward spiral for it's my goal this year NOT to gain weight between Thanksgiving and Christmas...oh, nor Christmas and New Year.

I'd love to be into Onderland by New Year's.  That would mean losing 27lbs in three months.  Doable - but with my track record...a reach.  A huge reach. 

I want to finish the Couch to 5K program (again) by Thanksgiving, too.  I never quite made it to running a full three miles without any walking - and that's something that has been a big goal of mine forever.  It still is. 

I have a goal of wanting to find a happy medium for my detest of weight work.  Seriously, I loathe lifting weights.  I've tried to like it - really I have, but I don't.  I know, though, that without it - I'm setting myself up for a case of major saggy skin syndrome - and I don't want that.  If I want to lose weight, get fit, and have a tone physic....then I've got to find a way to make myself do some strength training. 

So, you see... I don't plan on keeping everything to myself.  Just the small stuff.  Although, you know what I'm like with my I'm sure you'll still hear about it, eventually.  It's just a way of keeping my spirits up, I guess.  If I don't announce I'm going for a run - and then I will make it so much more enjoyable.  On the flip side, if I announce - and then don't... I get that nasty, guilty feeling like I'm letting you all down - and I hate that feeling as much as I hate those stupid weights.

Just as I plan on getting over my hate for weights, I plan on getting over my fear of failure.  But, it seems like I've failed so much lately - I can't add any more of that to my plate.

Are you done hearing me whine for today?  Yes?  I thought so. 

Alright, time for me to get ready for work.

Happy Hump Day, everyone!!

Till next time. ;)

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  1. No need to tempt the universe...and as a reader/follower it is more satisfying to read about what was done than what was planned. Plus, I'll level with you, I don't think I ever check a blog in the morning thinking "oh, I wonder if she went for that run?" :)

    I like not planning sometimes because I can end up doing even MORE!

  2. I totally understand keeping daily goals private. When I publically say I'm going to do something, and then plans change (as they often do, and that's normal) I feel like I failed. So instead of apologizing for not doing something, wait and brag when you do!

  3. I know exactly how you feel. And will make a little confession of my own here... After stating for all the world to see yesterday afternoon that I was going to walk this morning, I woke up in the middle of the night wishing I hadn't said it so I could skip it. Obviously I did it, but I thought about not doing it. Things will happen to throw our plans and good intentions out the window and I we just have to roll with it. The big thing is to not let it snowball like I have done. I'm here cheering you on, girl!

  4. Joanna..I love reading your posts..they always make me feel like perhaps I'm not so 'off'

    OR..we both are. :)

  5. Always good to acknowledge you are human! I am so envious that you can run! I am unable to as I have a large bone spur which has given me chronic achylles tendonitis. Phys therapy has helped so I get a four mile walk every day with the hubby and our fur kid. Even though lifting weights is dull you'll love the boost it gives your metabolism and the results! Be patient you'll get there - it is the journey that makes us who we are when we get there!


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