Monday, September 26, 2011

A Little Something for the Ladies

If you decided to read my blog today, based on the title....and you think that I've got a treat for ya - like some Eric Northman eye candy - well, I don't.

Wait.  That's not true.  I can do's the least I can do....being that what I'm going to make you read about today.

So, before I get down to business, here's some eye candy for you.  You're welcome.

What I really have to talk about today is for the ladies.  I mean, if there are any guys reading - you may want to close your browser now.  Run!!  Don't look back.  Come back tomorrow.  If you don't heed the warning - not my fault.

It's probably obvious by now that I'm going to talk about that wonderful time of the month....oh, and throw in a little birth control chatter...including hormones, bloating, and cramping gossip!!  Fun, right?

Let's begin, shall we?

Two months ago, you may remember me sharing the story that my birth control implant fell out.  Maybe you don't.  Maybe you missed it, or intentionally skipped over it.  In case you did, you can read about that pilava right here.

That was back in July....the beginning of July, actually.  A few days later, I went to the doctor and she put me on birth control pills.

Let me say right now, I hate taking pills.  Oh, I've said that before?  Yeah, well it's true.  Taking the pills hasn't been the worst part of the experience, though.

When I had the implant, I lost close to 100lbs.  Was the implant the cause?  Of course not!! My pedal to the metal, kick ass, nobody can stop me attitude was the cause for my tremendous weight loss.  Just four weeks before the implant fell out, I weighed 214lbs.  It wasn't my lowest weight.  If I remember right, I actually managed to get down below 210lbs at one point.  I started gaining weight around the beginning of June - the time the doctor thinks the Mirena became "dislodged".

Once I started taking the pills, my whole feminine world turned upside down.

While the implant was still firmly in place, I didn't really have many Aunt Flo problems... in fact, I hardly even noticed she was there when she did come.  My moods stayed pretty consistent.  There were the occasional binges - but nothing uncontrollable or out of control.

Once I lost the implant and switched to the pill?  Holy Mother of Time of the Month Hell!!

Aunt Flo came back with a vengeance.  With her she brought along cramping, bloating, out of control binges, and mood swings.....yeah, I'll admit it.  I was the Devil Woman during the time of the month.

Now, I weigh 231lbs.  That's a 17lbs difference - in a matter of three months.

Am I going to sit here and blame the weight gain on the fact that I lost my implant blanket and had to switch to hormone filled pills?  Not entirely.  I hadn't even really given it a thought until now.  It does start to raise some questions, though.

So, why am I bringing this all up now?  Well, because today - I'm going to get another implant!!

The one I'm getting today is different to the Mirena.  It's a non hormonal implant that lasts 10 years versus the 5 years that Mirena lasts.  Mirena did contain a small amount of hormones.  Nothing compared to the pills that I'm taking - but still a small amount.

This has set off an excitement in my head.  Will getting the new implant help cure some of the problems I've been having?  Will the cramps, the bloating, the headaches, the bitchiness all go away?  Will the urges to stuff my face until I'm on the verge of exploding fade away too?  Will I have more energy?

I don't know.  Yet.

I've known many women who have experienced significant weight gain while on the pill.  While I don't believe that the pill is the entire cause of the weight gain - the side effects can have some of the blame.  In fact, every time that I was on birth control pills in the past, I blew up.  My weight increased significantly.  Sure, there were other factors at play.... but it is a trend that I've kept up with over the years.

I got the Mirena about 8 weeks after Jelly was born.  That was 3 1/2 years ago.  In that time, I lost more weight than I ever have in my whole life.  Sure, I yo-yo'd a bit.... but for the record, it was the most I was able to lose and keep off for the longest amount of time.  Until those damn pills made an appearance, that is.

A 17lb gain in three months is a lot.  That's almost 6lbs a month.  There have been a few occasions when I've seen the scale go up to 234lbs during Aunt Flo visits, and sometimes the scale has gone down to 228lbs.  Monday morning, when I take my "official" weight, however, I see the same 231lbs that I've seen for the past couple of weeks.  Blah!!

Let's hope that today is a new day.  Will the coming of a new implant come the new surge of willpower and motivation?  Hopefully.  I know I can't put all my eggs into the basket.  The implant isn't going to suck the fat out of me... but it may help...just a little.

Can those blasted pills really be a reason that I've gained so much weight in 3 months?  Well, starting today - we shall see.  It will be my own experiment.  Only time will tell.  I sure as heck hope so!!

I want to know - have any of you gone through a similar situation?  Have you noticed that you gain more weight on birth control pills - or any other type of birth control?  Please share!!

Till next time. ;)
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  1. The pill ruined me and my hormones. I hate them. I refused to go back on them after I had my first child. My husband hates it. I told him to get snipped. LOL!

  2. I was "curvy" and loved my body until the pill. then I became bigger and bigger... I know it wasn't all 100% of the birth control pills but I do know that hormones and etc have a part in the play. i haven't been on the pill since i was 18 when they took me off because ta-da, i had cancer! probably from being on it from the age of 12 and a huge history of cancer in the family... i never should have been on the pill!!

    now, i'm other hormones and i can't get pregnant and weight loss is as foreign to me as speaking chinese!!

    sigh. perserverence, i'll have my baby and my body! lol


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