All in All...Just a Brick in the Wall

Who doesn't like a little Pink Floyd to get their day started??  The last few days feel like I've been building a wall, and not the one that requires manual labor.  I can't believe I miss bootcamp so much.  I've done a little exercising over my break - but not near enough.  I feel a little disheartened, disappointed in myself, but mostly angry that I had such a perfect opportunity to work my butt off...and instead, I wasted it.

Weekends like this past one really get me thinking.  Why is it I can put everything I have into a fitness program like bootcamp- but have absolutely no motivation to use the tools and opportunities that I have at home?  It's so frustrating.  I hate medications, but if there was a pill that guarenteed results in motivation - I'd take it.  I'm down to only having 5 sessions of bootcamp left - and I feel like I'm still no closer to achieving my goals with fitness and weight loss.  Don't get me wrong, bootcamp has been amazing on my strength and stamina - but what good is it if I don't use it?  If I do this bad without having anything standing in my way - such as kids, work, etc....then how the heck am I going to do in 4 weeks when I have to juggle all of it on top of trying to find time to work out? 

Yes, today is a pity party - aren't you glad you were invited?  I have no one to blame but myself - and I'm very mad at me.  I need a sledgehammer - cause this wall HAS to come down, and FAST!!  I've dealt with times like this before - and that's what led me to bootcamp.  Now I'm almost done with bootcamp, and still feeling like I'm right where I started.  I can sit here and make excuses for myself, but how motivating is that?? It's not.  So, I'm going to take some time to really think about my priorities - and how I'm going to fix this little rut I'm in.  No more open promises of what I'm going to do....it's just time to do what I have to do.  It's time to get back to basics, refuel the fire that has slowly been losing it's flame, and start cranking up the heat!!

I'm going to cut off there - cause I really hate "boo-hoo" posts.  I hate negativity, and can only start repairing the faults that lie within myself.  Time for a change of pace - and tomorrow, I promise to bring back my "spunkiness" and hopefully get myself back on track. 

Till next time.  ;)