A True and Honest Time Line

So, it's definitely no secret that I have been digressing from my normal "cheery" self lately to a mark darker, angrier me.  Let me say right now, I don't like feeling that way.  I don't like feeling upset, frustrated, or angry.  It affects my mind, my spirit, and my Willpower.

April is all about willpower - and if I'm slipping off course trying to find it, then I'm falling into the lap of failure.  NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

I decided I needed to write a post that would boost my spirits - something that would make me shift this dark cloud that's looming over my head....a confrontation with my success, if you will.  I may be having a few difficulties now, but the progress I've made in the past year is phenominal....and I should be proud of that.

To help Willpower find a warm, inviting home in my heart - I decided to do timeline post.  Now, I have mentioned a few times that when I first started this blog - I was not honest.  I was so ashamed of the numbers, I flat out lied about my starting weight, the progress I made, and the numbers that were actually appearing on the scale each week.  I know why I did it - because I wanted fast results, I wanted to believe that I didn't really weigh as much as the scale said I did...and maybe, just maybe, if I lived in a fairy tale land on this blog - then it would come true.

It doesn't excuse why I lied.  I'm not proud of it.  Looking back now, I know it was stupid.  I'm not going to go back and change all of those posts - I use them as a lesson learned.  Now, I'm completely honest - and I feel like I'm better for it.  When I gain, lose, fail, or succeed - it's all spelled out in black and white.  Once my support system increased, I realized the benefits of being honest with myself - and the best part is that I have managed to make great progress.  If I was still lying about my starting weight and how fast I lost - then I would not be celebrating the amount I have lost today....I would still be beating myself up over how the numbers don't fit.  Nope, I didn't think that far ahead.

So, today - take a trip with me down "Truth Lane" as I share my ACTUAL accomplishments.

January, 2010:  I stood on the scale to see 297lbs.  I was devastated.  I was completely dumbstruck.  I had no idea that my weight had gotten so out of control.  I knew it was time for some changes....so, I started my journey by using Alli weight loss pills.

February, 2010:  Using Alli, I managed to lose 17lbs in a little over a month.  My exercise routine consisted of using the Biggest Loser game for the Wii.  I was becoming much more concious about my food choices, and making great progress in designing meal plans that kept my eating under control.

March, 2010:  I ditched using Alli after losing another 10lbs.  I felt that I was finally capable to go the journey alone - with healthy eating and exercise.  I took up walking/ jogging and signed up for my first 5K race.  By the end of March, I was down to 270lbs - losing 27lbs in 2 1/2 months.

April, 2010:  I walked my first 5K.  My plan had been to jog as much as I could - but that consisted of jogging about 3 minutes out of the entire race.  I was still badly out of shape - and ended up on the couch for two days after babying an extremely swollen and sore knee.  Lesson learned!!

May, 2010:  My weight loss went in to OVER DRIVE.  By then end of May, I was down to 245lbs!! I had lost 52lbs in 5 months!  I started to feel better about myself.  I also decided I wanted to start Bootcamp - and I signed up.

June, 2010:  I participated in my first Boot Camp.  It was hard.  It was grueling.  It was AMAZING!!  I did things I never thought I could possibly do...push-ups, circuits, running for a full mile (almost).  I also competed in my 2nd 5K and did MUCH better!!  I jogged a lot more, but the most important part was that I felt AMAZING after it was over.  No sore knees.  I felt so great, in fact, that Hubby and I spent the day walking around shopping.  HUGE SUCCESS!!

July, 2010:  I finished up my first Boot Camp by dropping 4% of my body fat, being able to do REAL push-ups, and feeling stronger (and sexier) than I had ever felt up to that point.  While in Bootcamp, I dropped another 10lbs bringing my weight loss down to 235lbs.

August, 2010:  Things started to spiral a little for me - being I started a full time internship.  My "happy go healthy" life was in danger... but I tried to do my best with the amount of spare time I had. 

September, 2010:  I tried to stay motivated and work out as much as possible.  I did manage to bring my weight down to 217lbs.... but more work and less free time started affecting my ability to stay positive.

October - December, 2010:  Due to the craziness of life, school, and work...I decided to take a hiatus from my journey.  I needed it for my own sanity - only, I look back now and realize that it might have been a little of a cop out.  BUT, it happened, and there's nothing I can do about it.

January, 2011:  New year, and new found motivation.  My new year's resolution was to continue the journey I started, yet doing it with full disclosure and honesty.  No more fudging numbers.  No more celebrating deceitful successes...I was throwing all my dirty laundry out there - and making myself a better person because of it.  Starting weight for 2011 was 227lbs.  Only gaining back 10lbs in three months was a small victory in my mind.  I hadn't done too much damage.

February, 2011:  Such a great month for me.  I found the Sisterhood.  I started competing in challenges, I joined a gym, and I started the Couch to 5K program....I rekindled the spark that had sizzled out in the months before.  By the end of the month, I was down to 215lbs - a 12lb loss in a little under 2 months.

March - Present:  The end of February was when I hit my plateau...that dreaded 214.6lbs.  There was one week that I did manage to get down to 212lbs but my constant weight fluctuating has seen the 214.6lbs haunt me a few times since then.  I am DETERMINED to push past this plateau so that this month I will hitting below 210lbs.  I have lost a total of 84lbs!!!  How can I not be happy with that?

What's to come?  In the next couple of months, I see Onederland off in the not too far distance.  I'm basically banging on it's back door.  I've still got a way to go before it will actually let me in, however.  Looking back at how much I've accomplished really did give me the boost I was looking for.  There were months that I lost HUGE amounts of weight - and that girl is still in me. 

Look out Onerderland, here I come....and I'm not looking back until I get there.

Till next time. ;)

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