I'm not really sure why I'm still checking in for this challenge.... being that I basically gave up on it about 4 weeks ago - but I guess if I signed up, I should follow through right?
I'm actually pretty happy this week. I managed to lose 0.2lbs. It's not much - at all - but it's better than a gain. For someone that's been living in self-pity and countless binges, any loss is to be taken as a huge victory.
Last week I weighed 223.2lbs, this week I weigh 223lbs. It's still 8.2lbs over what I weighed at the start of the challenge... but it's a small move in the right direction, finally.
Not only that, but Aunt Flo is knocking at the door...so I'm sure there's some bloating going on. A girl can hope, right? Geez, I never thought I'd utter the words "hope Aunt Flo is knocking"... that's desperation right there.
I'm telling ya right now, this week is causing some changes in me...in a major way.
You know how I mentioned on Monday that I was all full of positivity for the beginning of a new week, and then yesterday I confessed how I had a gut feeling that things were going to look up in regards to the job hunt this week? Well, I still feel that way... if not, more so.
There's nothing definite going on yet, but I do know that my references are being checked for a position that I'd really like to have. That's a good sign, right?
This morning, the feeling is really strong. I'm not sure why, but I have this giddy, exciting, rumbling, nervous feeling in my stomach. Something I compare to a case of the major butterflies right before stepping in to the interview of a lifetime. I don't have an interview set up - that's just what I'm feeling.
I don't now, or have I ever claimed that I possess any form of psychic ability. I have no idea what's causing this sudden burst of positivity that's churning in my stomach.
This time last week, I was just about certain that there was no hope in finding a job. I was just about certain that I might have to look into subbing or getting a job that's totally not related to my degree. I was angry, bitter, desperate, and sad.
This week is definitely different.
Yesterday, I shared my horoscope with you. Again, I don't believe in that stuff...but I found it interesting that I stumbled across my horoscope and what it had to say. The same thing happened this morning. When I read today's horoscope, the overwhelming sense of excitement that rushed through me was on the verge of nausea:
"Something amazing is about to happen. Fortunately, there's all kinds of sweet energy circulating around upstairs. So if you feel as if the universe is about to step in and change your plans, don't worry. You'll definitely enjoy it."
Now, before any of you start worrying that I'm getting ahead of myself or putting faith in something so silly as horoscopes - relax. I'm not that crazy. I just don't see anything wrong with having some positivity. Today's horoscope just happens to speak to the exact way I've been feeling...and I felt that way before I ever read it. I felt/feel like something amazing is going to happen. I feel this sweet, positive energy circulating around me. The part about the universe stepping in and changing my plans? Don't know what that's all about - but only time can tell if there's any truth in that.
Even though there has been no offer of employment, I feel like things are moving closer.
I'm starting to feel like my old self. I'm happy. I'm excited. I'm positively thinking. Maybe after being told 8 bazillion times to "stay positive", the advice is starting to sink in. I feel, with all of my heart, that the universe has a plan for me. What that plan is, I don't know... but it's being formulated. I just have to keep staying positive, keep my head up, keep trucking along.
Good things come to those that wait, right?
So, I want to hear from you all today....have you ever felt this type of crazy giddy feeling right before something great happened? Do you read your horoscopes? Do you believe in the power of positivity?
Come on, talk to me.... this crazy, fat girl wants to know.
Till next time. ;)
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