There's nothing better than waking up knowing that there's still five more days until the weekend, am I right? No? You disagree? Well, maybe you won't after you hear what I have to say.
Facebook is like a protest page on Mondays....status upon status of people cursing this very day, complaining about getting out of bed and heading back to work or oversleeping due to a crazy weekend.
I used to be one of those people.
I used to look at my alarm clock on Sunday nights, and lay there cursing every minute that flicked by not being able to sleep because I slept in to late that morning and now I'm wide awake and I have to get up in 5 hours, make that four hours and fifty-nine minutes.
Sunday nights for the past few months have been different.
Sunday nights, instead, I get to start my worry, frustration, and anger all over again. I have five days to search for a job. I have five days to think about how I'm going to battle Lardinia Assqueen. I have five days to wait and hear back from principals and directors.
Last night, when I went to bed, I thought about the days and weeks that have passed by. The nights I've laid in bed worrying about what the next day will bring. Will it be another day of no phone calls or emails? Will it be another day of over-eating because I can't control my stupid emotions? Will I attempt to put on a happy face for everyone, or pull off my head spinning demon routine?
For some reason, however, last night was different.
My stomach wasn't in knots. I didn't want to cry and scream. All I kept telling myself was This Is The WEEK!!
Bursts of optimism have become very few and far between. I've been living in this constant sulk where I think the whole world is against me...and there's no hope. Waahhh Waahhh Wahhh...
I've been worse than a 3 year old having a toy taken away.
Don't worry. I'm not here to go on another "I declare to change my ways" soapbox. I'm done with the open promises and pointless declarations. Actually, I have no idea what I'm saying today.... except I felt different last night.
I think it's a good thing.
Even I'm finally getting tired of the negativity. Yes, I'm stressed. Yes, I want a job. Yes, I feel like my chances of getting the job I really want may have passed. Yes, I'm frustrated that as hard as I worked to get where I am it hasn't paid off, yet. But last night - none of that mattered.
All I kept thinking about was Monday being my do-over day.
My head was pulling my heart strings. For a while, I was in complete control. I was filled with optimism, drive....the feeling that something good is going to happen, I'll get through this slump, everything will work it's self out.
For the first time in months, I went to sleep on a Sunday night with a clear mind. I actually looked forward to the opportunities that await me this week.
Is this some form of sign? Is it possible that good things really do come to those who wait (and cry, and stress, and throw baby fits)?
Only time will tell.... but my mind is clearer today.
Maybe this is the beginning of a slight change in me. Maybe I can begin to embrace Mondays as the do-over day for opportunity.
If you're the kind of person that dreads Monday, take a second to think about how lucky you are. Knowing that you have to get up for work in the morning should not be a burden - it is a blessing. It doesn't matter if you hate your job...be thankful that you have one.
Mondays are going to be different for me now.
Today is the beginning of a new week. Could this be my week? If not, next Monday...we'll start over, again. I will continue to work through each and every week....I will do what I can. I know that I will no longer curse Sunday nights. Now....they are my key to a new start.
Till next time. ;)
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