Thursday, October 20, 2011

There's A Rumbly in my Tumbly

I've got a rumbling in my belly this morning...and it's not cause I'm hungry.

I just know that once I start typing, I'm going to go on and on....cause that's how I deal.  You don't have to read it - I wouldn't if I were you - but good or bad, I'm going to hit Publish when it's all said and done.  You have been warned, and no hard feelings if you just move on from here - just come back tomorrow, m'kay?

Today is a pretty big day for me...well, more for Butter, really.

Today is the day that I'm meeting with his counselor, the principle, assistant principle, and a slew of school counselors and special education teachers to discuss Butter's after care schooling options.

I've been looking forward to this meeting since it was scheduled last week - but now that the day is here?  Not so excited anymore...and I have no idea why.  Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I feel like I'm going to be on a jury.  Deciding the fate of a person's life...except this time, it's my son.

There are so many options that will have to be discussed - all while keeping in mind what's right for Butter.  It's gonna be tough, I know it.

Being that he hasn't been in a public school since the beginning of 3rd grade...and now he's in 5th...there are lots of things to weigh out.  Considerations to make.  This isn't just about what I want, but what will be the best fit for  Butter.

Of course, I want him at the elementary I'm in.  But it's not that simple.  Is he ready to handle a regular classroom with minimal support?  Does he need to be in a more therapeutic/special education type classroom that can provide more behavioral guidance?  Does he need to go back to a transitional therapeutic day treatment school first?  UGH, decisions, decisions.

This week has already been tough.

I was so looking forward to running away from everything this weekend...leaving the drama, my stress, and my worries behind and going camping.

Then my dad found out he probably has to work this weekend - so the chances of going camping have now been diminished dramatically.  Pooey! 

OK, enough with the Debbie Downer's making the rumblies in my tumbly worse!!

Despite everything I've got weighing on my shoulders right now, surprisingly I haven't been stuffing my face.  This much going on, and I'm NOT emotionally eating?  Is that even normal?  Not for me it's not.

This type of stress usually involves one thing:  junk food.  But not this week.

If anything, I've been under eating.  OK, that's stretching it - just a little.  What I mean by that is I'm eating my three meals a day - and that's it.  There hasn't been any real snacking, at all.  Unless you count the mint Klondike bar I've had after dinner every night... but that's dessert - and in my deluded mind, I've earned it....and the calories aren't too terribly outrageous.

If the worst thing I eat is a Klondike bar every day....then, it's happy days for me!

This week's challenges for Shrinkvivor are logging fitness minutes and drinking lots of water - 64ozs a day to be exact.  For the past two weeks, I've logged zero fitness minutes.  Not because I've sat on the couch doing absolutely nothing for the past two weeks - but because I haven't done anything that is categorized as "exercise".  Cleaning house, walking hallways all day, etc. are not I haven't counted them.  It doesn't matter how sore I am at the end of each day, or the fact that I feel like I've given Bob Harper a run for his money...I haven't dedicated any time to exercising.

I do know that I've longed for a run.  Something else that hasn't happened in a while.  Longing and doing are two separate things, however.  I just need to bite the bullet and take my enormous junk in the trunk to the track and be done with it.  I know the minute I feel the wind in my hair, the music in my ears, and the chill of the air zip through my body - I'll be at peace. 

Peanut is still loving her new school.  She's starting to feel a little more comfortable - and even dressed up for Spirit Day yesterday.  Once we get in the car to drive home, her mouth is running 100mph trying to tell me every detail of her day. 

It takes me back to the days I first moved to America and started school. 

For the first few weeks, I barely said a word at school.  Most of it had to do with the fact that I had an accent, and I didn't want people making fun of me.  Anywho, after not talking all day - by the time I got home, I just couldn't shut up.  I talked my parents ears off from the moment I walked in the door to the time I went to bed.

Now I know how they felt.  Apparently, Peanut still isn't talking much at school.

I listen, though.  Cause that's what good mothers do.  Her excitement and enthusiasm are contagious - and no matter how tiring my day was, she can perk me up. 

OK, it's that time.  Time for me to say my goodbyes.  So long, farewell my friends.  Keep Butter and I in your thoughts today, won't ya?

Everyone have a great Thursday!!

Till next time. ;)
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  1. Such a hard spot to be in. My nephew lived with me for a while when he was about 10, and I had to take him to a "mental health" facility. Listen to the professionals -- they really know what they're doing -- and sometimes making decisions with our heart isn't the best thing for the person we love so much

  2. You and Butter will be in my thoughts today! I have faith that you will find the best solution for your son!


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