Thursday, August 02, 2012

My Heart is Hurting This Morning...

I have sat at this computer for over an hour looking at the screen.  My intent was to write about the wonderful meeting that I had with my principal yesterday morning.  To share how I feel so much better about moving in to the new adventure in my life - how much better I feel about starting out and moving forward.

But, my insides just can't let me move on with this subject.

That's because my stomach is in knots, and I feel like crying, screaming actually.  And I have sat here wondering if I can truly say what I want to say.  It's tough being in the position I'm in.  I am a teacher.  What I say has to be said with caution.  My actions and my beliefs are on watch - and I'm OK with that.... until times like right now.

But I have made the decision.  I have to say what's in my heart because that's what my blog is all about.  It's who I am.  Good or bad, I believe I have the right to say how I feel.

And I will say it very bluntly right now - I am completely sickened and distraught by the fact that an estimated 600,000 people went to a fast-food restaurant yesterday just to make a political stand in their personal beliefs.  Utterly, stomach churning, I could throw up any minute, sickened.

And don't anyone start with why they did it or why they thought it was right or why supporting the first amendmant is important.  Because I DON'T CARE WHAT YOUR REASON WAS.

Cause honestly?  The reason behind the mass influx to a certain chicken restaurant doesn't push my motives for the horrible feeling I am carrying with me today.

Six-Hundred-THOUSAND people went to buy food at a chicken restaurant yesterday to show their support for freedom of speech, or because they don't agree with gay rights, or because they wanted to take a stand that it was stupid to boycott a restaurant because of the words of the company's president. In doing so, the company reported historical, record breaking profit.

So, really, the only thing those 600,000 people did was make a rich company even richer.  Good for you, congratulations!

While there are soldiers fighting in another country trying to protect the very freedom everyone is fighting about, while families of fallen soldiers are trying to make ends meet, while children are starving in our streets, while people are dying because they can't afford insurance to go and see a doctor - there are 600,000 people spending money just because the president of the company said something they agreed with.

If each of those 600,000 people spent five dollars on their breakfast, lunch, or dinner - that company made $3,000,000.  How can that sit right with anyone?

In a little over two weeks, I will begin my journey as a teacher.  Not in a rich, middle to upper class district.  In a very poor district.  I have been told that it's more than likely the majority of my kids will arrive to school on the first day without school supplies.  They will need help with clothing needs.  They will need help with hygiene needs.  They will be provided food to take home with them on a weekly basis. 

And as bad as it sounds, those reasons are why I truly believe I am in the school district I'm supposed to be in - because those kids need me.  Even if they don't know it yet.  They need my love, my support, my help.  I am there to make their lives better. 

And it's not the only district in the country with this type of demographic of kids.  We may be the lucky ones.  There are districts in our country where many kids don't go to school - because they have to stay home to take care of a parent or siblings, or find a job long before they should to try and put food on plates, or live in cardboard boxes.

There are so many children and adults suffering in this country.

Yet, one president of one company spews off some personal beliefs about their thoughts on gay-rights...and BAM, 600,000 people spend their money to support that person.  To make him even richer.  To provide that company even more money to donate to groups that's main purpose is to destroy the chances of gay people to have rights.

I'm pretty sure there are a million charities, free-clinics, shelters, and non-profit care organizations that dream of the day that 600,000 people would rally together to raise money for them.  So, that they could really work on helping those that need it the most.

This subject has torn me up so bad, that I couldn't even sleep last night.  I laid in my bed, looking up at the ceiling, while tears streamed from my eyes.

Do I really live in a country that cares more about freedom of speech or stopping gay people from getting married than they do about all the starving people, people that are dying from illnesses they can't get medical care for, or for families of soldiers that have given their lives for this country and don't get much back in return?

I hate to think that's true - but the actions of those 600,000 people yesterday lead me to believe that. 

If each one of those people had donated those $5 to a charity - that is fighting every day to help those in need - think of the blessings that charity could have provided.  OK, it wouldn't have fixed all the problems we have in this country - but it would have shown a leap of faith that the country can come together and do something charitable.

And I know that many of you will tell me that you do contribute to charities, or you do provide aid to people that need it, or the company you work for donates thousands, if not millions of dollars to charities.  But that's not the point. The point in all of this is that everyone believes they made a stand yesterday by showing support for a man who had the right to share his personal beliefs.

No, you didn't.

You made him even more wealthy.  That's it. 

I just hope that one day, while I'm reading the daily headlines or watching the droves of Facebook and Twitter statuses that are all talking about the same story - that it's a story of hope, kindness, coming together regardless of political or religious beliefs....and making a difference in the lives of those that truly need it.

So many of the people I know, love, and respect were on board with this bandwagon, yesterday.  And I think that's what hurt me the most.  I try to think that none of it really affected me.  I wasn't getting involved.  But, in truth, I am.  I am involved because of the shock and horror that now rests in my heart.

What I do know is that what happened yesterday will resonate in my heart for a very long time.  It will push me even more to make some kind of impact in the lives of the children I will serve.  I will support them, encourage them, provide for them as much as I can.  My pennies may be few and far between - but I can help them in other ways.

And I hope that the children that leave my classroom each year are kids that carry love in their hearts, that will remember where they came from and do what they can to help others that need it.  They are our future - and I place all my chips on them.  Hopefully our new generation will repair and fix the generation that came before them. 

I can only hope.

Till next time.  ;)
Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Calorie Counter


  1. Wow, Joanna. That was powerful. Well said!!!! You know, statistically, 10%of any group of kids that you teach will be gay or lesbian - 2 out of 20 kids or 10 out of 100 kids you teach. I can tell you are the teacher those kids need!!!

    1. I've thought about that, also. What people don't really stop and think about are all those kids that are discovering that they have feelings for people of the same sex - and now where do they turn? What happens to those children if their parents were some of those that participated in all of this? How will that make them feel? I will make sure that any kids that walk in to my classroom feel safe to share whatever their feelings are - and will NEVER receive any form of judgment, hate, or betrayal from me.

  2. I'm in an area that was full of people posting facebook pics of car lines around that place & saying we support this company. I have friends who posted that. And it sickens me. To me this day was not truly about free speech. It was about hate.
    Can the man believe what he wants? Of course. But to me it did seem like a day for a bunch of adulterers, drunks, liars, hypocrites to all get together & call gay people sinners. Because guess what? If you believe in the Bible we are all sinners.
    I love my traditional marriage. But I won't tell others their love is wrong.

    1. Another very good point. I know so many people who joined in who are divorced, had children out of wedlock, etc. I don't judge them - never have - but if they are going to stand on the principle of "traditional marriage" - that's hypocritical. Even if they really were just there to support the issue of freedom of speech, what do they really accomplish by buying fast-food? Nothing but making that company even richer. Stupid.

  3. I understand where you're coming from. I work in a school district that is combined over two cities. One part very wealthy - many NBA players and plastic surgeons and big business owners live there and send their kids to the public schools. The other half of the district is in a much lower income city where multiple families live in a single apartment - the kids speak English but the parents don't...the difference in distribution of wealth among schools within the district is amazing. I go from school to school and see what a difference money makes in education...I've gotten to where I can't think on it too much because it is very upsetting. And you're right about people focusing on superficial things when there are REAL problems that need solutions. Forget about how convoluted some of the arguments are on the issue - buying fast food is a lame way to make a stand.

    1. I couldn't agree more. I have very strong opinions on the subject as a whole, but at the end of the day my disgust comes from the way this whole thing was handled. All that money basically gone to waste. This country would be such a better place if people focused on issues that we desperately need to focus on.

  4. I love this post Joanna. I think pretty much the same way. If only those people get together and help a charity and REAL people in need, this country MIGHT be a better place. As anon said, this day was really about hate. No one on this Earth is perfect, and it's no good to judge someone else because they sin differently than you. Besides, wth do gay people have to do with YOUR (in general) marriage? Don't like gay marriage, don't get into one! Simple enough, eh?

    1. Again - so true. My heart really feels sorry for the Christians who are pulled in to this argument who don't agree with it at all. I just hate that there is always a religious argument to everything. I really respect the Christians who have stept forward and declared that they have no judgment in their hearts, they believe that God is the only person that can judge, and that religious beliefs should not stop a group of people from having civil rights. With the amount of "traditional marriages" that end in divorce, I don't think anyone really has the right to define it. This is a civil rights matter. There was a time when women wouldn't have been able to have their say in the matter, African-Amercians would never have been able to express their why do so many of them forget that now? It really is heart breaking.


Tell me what's on your mind - I love to hear from you!