Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Oh, There You Are Nerves! I Was Beginning to Worry

This is it, folks.  Can you believe it?  And, yes, I realize that I probably said that exact same expression last Friday - when it was my first day back to work.  But this is so, so different.  This is the big Kahuna.  It.  The day I've waited all summer, all year, heck - twenty five years for.

Today is the first day back to school.

And here I am, sitting at my computer at 4:52am.  I've been up since 4:30 - but by the time I fed the cat, got a cup of coffee, read my comments... you know, that takes a while.

It was Open House last night.  About half of my class came - even though I only met about 4 of my kiddos.  The rest must have some major ninja stealth moves to get in to the classroom, sign the log, and get out again without me seeing them.  I spoke to a couple of parents - and they seemed very supportive... that made me happy.  And breath a little easier.

So, my nerves have arrived in full blown mode.  It started last night on my way HOME from Open House.  At the Open House I was fine.  Getting all the stuff ready for today, I was fine.  But, for some reason, as I was driving home last night - the nerves hit.  I realized that there was no turning back, no more last minute prep, it was the last time I was driving home before the big day.

Thankfully, I wasn't tortured with any bad dreams last night.  Not that I'm aware of, anyway.  I slept really well - and was amazed at how easily I got up after such a long day yesterday.  But, who doesn't want to get up on the morning that their lifelong dream is about to come true?  Forget feeling like I'm going to Disney World - this is more like winning the lottery.  There was no way I wasn't getting up this morning.

Peanut and Butter got to meet their teachers last night. Peanut has lots of teachers - Butter has one.  And from the look in Butter's eye when he stepped in to his classroom?  I think he's going to be OK.  Butter's teacher looks to be quite the tech person.  His teacher has all kinds of electronic gadgets in his room.  I am thankful that Butter's teacher is male.  And I know that sounds bad - but Butter really does better with a male teacher.  I think he will, anyway. Peanut looked a little overwhelmed - but who wouldn't meeting be so many new teachers in a new school?  Luckily, both of my kids are in amazing hands.  In the short time I've had to get to know the teachers in 6th grade and the junior high - I have absolutely no doubts that both of my kids will love their school year.

Completely random - but I'm sitting here listening to an owl hoot outside.  Haven't heard that in a while.  I'm going to take that as a sign that today is going to be great.  I mean, come on, it's an owl.  Owls have a lot of association with being smart and school and stuff like that.  Right?

All of the planning I did yesterday made my head spin a little.  I will have a couple of co-teachers working with me, I will have aides, there will be lots of in and out of the classroom.  But, I decided to let all of that go - and just focus on making it through the first day.  Today I get to do it all on my own.  Procedures, class rules, paperwork, getting to know each other - the really fun stuff.  If I can make it through today - I know I'll be just fine.

Wow, reading back over this I realize that I can definitely put my nerves in to words. HA!  What's hard is to put my sheer excitement and joy in to words.  There really are no words to properly explain the feelings.  It's such raw emotion.  It seems so unreal that twenty five years ago, I was in my first classroom.  I was with a teacher that would make me rush home every day and teach everything I learned to all of the stuffed animals that filled my room.  I would write squiggly lines on paper - that were my interpretation of all the writing my teacher did.  I would open a book and make up my own story, and make sure I read the words I recognized.

As the years went on, and I got better at reading and writing - so did my stuffed animals.  I don't think I stopped teaching the stuffed animals until about 4th grade.  That's when my brothers became the victims of my teaching.  They got to spend all day in school, and then come home to my school - that took place in my bedroom.  There was no other game that I wanted to play with any of my friends besides "school".  Of course, I was always the teacher.  And I've never lost those memories.

Throughout junior high and high school, I no longer taught my stuffed animals - but I teeter tottered over what subjects and grades I wanted to teach.  But NOT ONCE have I ever lost the dream that I would eventually have my own classroom, my own students.  And now, that dream has finally come true.  

This is it folks, the moment I've always been waiting for.

Till next time.  ;)
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  1. Have a great first day! I bet it will go awesome, can't wait to hear about it.

  2. I'm so excited for you! I hope your first day as a teacher went well, Joanna.


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