The one club I really wanted to be a part of was Student Council, or STUCO. I volunteered to be a co-sponsor. What I didn't realize until after I volunteered was that the STUCO was only made up of Jr. high kids - 7th and 8th graders. I came from a school where the student council was made up of all the grades in the school, so I figured I'd be an ambassador - of sorts - for the younger grades. WRONG-O!
As nervous as I was about working with the kids that are all bigger than me, I have actually loved being a part of STUCO. I've got to get to know some of the Jr. high kids, and I love hearing their ideas on how to make the school a better place.
Since being a STUCO co-sponsor, I've helped organize a canned food drive, various fund raisers, and a dance. Fun stuff. But, now? The event we're working on is the Valentine Formal. A formal dance for the 7th and 8th graders.
Being a co-sponsor, I am automatically required to be a chaperon at STUCO dances. Thankfully, I'm a parent of a 7th grader who isn't completely mortified at the idea that her mother will be at all of the school dances. In fact, I had a blast at the first dance. I danced with the kids, laughed with them, and they all seemed to be OK with the "old lady" who acted like she was 16 again.
But, here's the thing. At the first dance, I wore jeans and a t-shirt. It was a casual dance - so I dressed casual. I had my hair thrown up in a pony tail, and very little make-up on. Not that any of that matters. I don't go to the dances to impress anyone...I'm just there to make sure everyone is having a good time.
Which leads me to my dilemma. The next dance is going to be a formal. Meaning all of the girls will dress up in nice dresses, have their hair all fixed, make-up, shoes...the Jr. high version of a prom. I spoke to the other co-sponsor yesterday about the dress requirements for the chaperons and she tells me that she's going to be wearing a nice dress - just like everyone else.
HOLD THE PHONE! Nobody told me when I signed up as a STUCO co-sponsor that there'd be an occasion where I have to get all spiffed up.
OK, so I wear dresses quite often to work. But that's different. I wear casual dresses. With leggings. That are comfy and baggy. Not "fancy" dresses. Thanks to gaining all of my weight back, I am back to dressing for comfort - not style.
The idea that I'm going to have to dress up in making me a nervous wreck. I don't want to go out and have to buy a dress that's a size 18-20. Probably closer to a 20, being that dresses tend to fit smaller.
There is four weeks between now and the dance. The chances that I could lose enough weight to fit in to a dress much smaller is near impossible. But - not completely impossible. I told myself that I wouldn't go all crazy over my weight loss this year... but I'm starting to have a little change of heart about the next four weeks. I know that I won't lose enough to make a serious change in my clothing size - but maybe I could lose enough so that I wouldn't have to squeeze in to a dress... but feel a little better about how it looks on me.
So, I'm officially starting Operation: Formal Dance. Just for the next four weeks. Strict diet, walking, lots of water.
Before anyone starts lecturing me on my thoughts about losing weight just for this dance - save your breath. I am still committed to making small steps to achieve my weight loss. I know that it's not wise to crash diet just for the sake of fitting in to a nice dress. I know that 4 weeks isn't long enough to make any real dent in to how much weight I really have to lose. But...I'm doing it anyway.
Who knows, maybe this is what I need to put a little pep back in my step. Maybe...just maybe... if I'm happy with the progress I make over the next 4 weeks, it will help motivate me to keep on with what I'm doing. Again - no gym memberships, hour long work-outs or calorie counting is going to be involved. I just have to do what I can do over the next four weeks.
It really goes against everything I believe in. I am a firm believer in changing habits rather than obsessing over diet plans and restrictions. But, I also don't think it will kill me to just focus on a very small victory like losing a few pounds in order to feel better about myself dressing up for a formal dance. And, again, I know that it's not about what I look like - but making sure the kids have a good time. But, I can still care about what I look like.
Let's just see how well it goes.