Sunday, December 18, 2011

'Twas a Week Before Christmas...

I'm totally ripping off an idea that Drazil had when she wrote her own version of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas.  Mine's a little different, though...

'Twas the Week Before Christmas

'Twas the week before Christmas and all through the stores,
The people were hunting, searching, looking for more
The carts were placed in the middle of the aisles with care
In hopes that everyone noticed they were stuck there

The children were running around acting insane
While visions of all the toys danced in their brain
And this Momma was the smart one and left her kids at home
She knew it was best to tackle the craziness alone

When one aisle over there arose such a clatter
I couldn't help but be nosy and see what was the matter
Away to the aisle I flew like a flash
And saw the devastation from the crash

The twinkling of glass from the new fallen mess
Gave the luster of a woman all in distress
I figured it best my wandering eyes disappear 
From the chaos that was happening up close, so near

I got in my car so lively and quick
And wished I could leave the rest to St. Nick
More rapid than eagles, I was on to the next store
And I sung and whistled hoping to not see what had happened before

"Hey Move it! "Please, excuse me"
"Please, move!" "I'm a fixin...
To ram this car, and my stuff..
Up Your..Whew, just missed them"
To the next stop light, to the front of the mall
Now move it or lose it, I've got a load to haul!

As the wild people look like a wild hurricane fly
I met many obstacles, and hoped I wouldn't die
On to the next store, I knew just what to do
I would weave in and out and push my way through

And then, in a twinkling I realized I was done
Had all of my loot, except for that one
As I drew in my head the thought to head home
I knew I had to go to more stores, again alone

I was dressed nice and comfy, from my head to my foot
But that didn't matter, I was tired and felt ka-put
A bundle of toys I had flung in the trunk
But more had to be placed, and wow, that stunk

My eyes no longer twinkled, my face not so merry
I was hot, and exhausted, my face as red as a cherry
My droll little mouth was as dry as a bone
I could feel in my throat the twinge of a moan

The remainder of the list, I held in my hand
It sucked me to the store like the pulling of quick sand
With my broad face, and my not so little round belly
I dragged and wobbled like a bowl full of jelly

I spoke not a word and went straight to my work
I found that missing gift, and ignored all the jerks
And laying my finger into my purse
I pulled out my card and let out a curse

I then sprang to my car and to myself gave a cheer
It was finally over, the end was now here
But I couldn't help but exclaim as I drove out of sight..

Merry Christmas to All!  And to all a good night!

Wow, that wasn't half bad.  I'm pretty proud of myself.  I'm a poet and didn't know it.  HA!

Everyone have a wonderful Sunday!!

Till next time. ;)
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  1. Not half bad? That kicked ass!!! LOVE IT!

  2. That is pretty flamin impressive! Well done you!
    ps well done on the weight loss too

  3. Thanks, ladies!! That was a lot of fun. After reading the real poem all week, I had it memorized... thought it would be fun to put my own twist to it. LOL


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