But, the harsh reality is, I've realized I have to have my kids in the house. With the fighting and arguing and whining. Why? You ask. Well, because when I'm in the midst of fighting and whining and arguing - I'm pushed and motivated to get out of the house and exercise... just to get away from it.
It has become so apparently obvious this week that when the kids are away - Momma will sit on her behind and bask in the gloriousness that is peace and quiet. She will opt for an afternoon of movie watching than working out in the gym. She will lay on the couch complaining about the heat instead of putting up with the heat..because it sure beats sitting around and listening to one more kid complain about another kid.
I've learned that my kids are a HUGE factor in my weight loss motivation. As bad or sad as that sounds.
And while I keep telling myself that my food consumption this week has been fine... I've really been kidding myself. No, I haven't gone on a binge and eaten tons of crap food. But, I've also swayed on the importance of eating every couple of hours. I've found myself in a situation too many times of it being close to dinner time and realizing I haven't eaten all day. Or, when I'm out and about in 100+ degree weather and should be guzzling water like my life depended on it - I'll admit I've had a Diet Dr. Pepper or too much vitamin water and hardly any real water.
So, it was no surprise when I stood on the scale this morning and saw a gain. A small one, but a gain nonetheless. I know it's not from too much eating - but more from the lack of eating and lack of water. A serious lack of water. And a serious lack of burning off some calories.
It hurts my heart that only two weeks in to my new found motivation that I'll be posting a gain for my weigh-in tomorrow... but I've realized the problem and that problem will be fixed.
And, I have to clear up that I don't believe my kids to be the only reason I make myself go to the gym. But, it's more along the line of not wanting to "waste" Hubby and my alone time this week by doing something like going to the gym or spending an hour walking.
I know that once Peanut gets home, she won't let me slack off anymore. She told me that this morning. She told me she's going to slap me in the face for not going to the gym all week...and made me promise that regardless of working in the classroom - I'll make myself go to the gym at least 3 times next week. Who needs a personal trainer when I've got her, right?
But, she opened up that she's tired of the whining and complaining, too. From me. That I spend so much time whining and complaining about my weight - that it's time to get it off and KEEP it off. What an amazing daughter, right?
So, even though this week has been anything but great in regards to my weight loss - it has been great in allowing me some time to reflect, get my priorities in order, and realize how much I desperately need my kids.. JUST THE WAY THEY ARE.
I don't have time worrying about what I should have done or could have done this week. I deserved the break. Not from losing weight, but from normal life. But, I learned a valuable lesson about how much my "normal" life affects my weight loss efforts.
I'm not going to dwell on what the scale tells me tomorrow. I'm not going to dwell on letting this week slip through my fingers. I'm not going to let anyone think that I'm only two weeks in to my new weight loss journey and already losing momentum. I most definitely am not! Knowing my mistakes, understanding what I missed out on, identifying my motivators and triggers - were all lessons I needed to learn.
And I did. So, it's time to move on.
Back to life as usual. The vacation will be over tomorrow.
My life will take many turns and twists in the next few weeks. I'm just gonna have to pull up my big girl panties - or future thin gal panties - and learn how to deal with it all.
The clothes in my closet are depending on it.
And so am I!
Till next time. ;)
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