Thursday, November 29, 2012
Nothing Like a Bad Dream to Get Me Ready for the Day
Let me start out by saying, first of all, there's a big difference between bad dreams and nightmares. Nightmares of those horrible dreams that are full of scary, crazy images that cause you to wake up screaming and crying. Bad dreams are unpleasant dreams that leave you a little out of sorts with reality and the dream world...and you wake up wondering if that really happened or was it all in your head.
I haven't had either for as long as I can remember. I usually have really great dreams or dreams I just don't remember.
Except, I had a bad dream last night. A bad dream that verged on the boarder of nightmare, because I remember waking up at one point wanting to cry. The worst part was that even though I woke up, and the dream should have been over, I went right back in to the dream as soon as I fell asleep again.
Why can't that happen when I'm having a really good dream? You know, those dreams where you're sitting in a beautiful house, kids are playing wonderfully, and you get a visit from Channing Tatum. And then the dream turns from good to great...and naughty.
OK, moving on.
It's probably because I enjoy those kinds of dreams way too much that caused me to have the dream I had last night. When I like dreaming about dream boat guys - then I'm bound to get some kind of pay back. Right?
Last night's dream was about Hubby. Which isn't usually a bad thing. But it was last night.
He decided to leave me. Not just leave me, but informed me that he'd been seeing another woman for about a month. My two worst nightmares rolled in to one. Him leaving me. Him cheating on me. Except this wasn't a nightmare, it was a bad dream.
With most nightmares, the bad stuff happens and then you wake up and it's all over with. Done. No more worrying about it. This dream, however, just wouldn't go away. When Hubby let me know he had been seeing another woman... the rest of the dream was full of him tormenting me with the other woman, trying to figure out how I was going to move on without him, and trying to explain to the kids why daddy wasn't going to live with us anymore. I remember actually waking up more than once with tears in my eyes... but I just couldn't shake what was going on in my head each time I closed my eyes.
Months of my bad dream life played out in the course of a few hours.
The dream was way more realistic than I would have liked. Seriously, I would much rather dream of zombies or monsters or some other mythical creature. I hate waking up in a state of wondering what the heck was just going on in my head... especially when the first thing I hear when I do finally wake up for good is the sound of the front door letting me know that Hubby is home early from work.
Now, I know that some people are going to have a field day with this. Let me state right now, I'm not asking for any form of "dream interpretation". There's not an ounce of me that feels like Hubby may actually be cheating on me, or ever would cheat on me. He's not like that. Trust me, I know. It was a bad dream. Period. Nothing more, nothing less. I'm simply sharing my experience.
I don't believe in subconscious messages that break through trying to tell me anything. If I did, the message I would be taking from it is that I need to stop dreaming about Channing Tatum. Hubby is the innocent party in all of it. I probably dreamed about him doing that to me because I haven't been giving him enough attention, lately.
And there I go with trying to play in some mixed messages... which is exactly what I said I WOULDN'T do.
OK, that's enough. I've mumbled and stumbled over this post long enough. I'm ready to move on. Shake it off. And get on with my day.
Only 15 more school days left!