When I was in college, I had several professors tell me that it was a good idea to keep a journal of all of the funny things I hear in my classroom. They shared stories with us future teachers of America of some of the hilarious things they'd heard when they had worked in a classroom.
Almost on a daily basis, I tell myself that I wish I had started that journal on day one of my teaching career. The amount of times I've uttered "Oh, I need to remember that one..." or "Hey, you got to hear what one of my kids said to me today" in the few short months I've been teaching would amaze you.
One day, I might actually get to the point where I start writing stuff down as it happens, but until I actually remember to get out a notebook and start jotting stuff down - here's a glimpse at some of the wonders that have escaped the mouths of my students...
While discussing the states and regions of the United States:
Me: Each day, I cross a state line twice. Once in the morning on my way to work, and again when I drive home.
Student with a look of complete horror on his face: Ms. Hill! Don't you get shot at or arrested?
Student: When you cross the line. Don't police shoot you or try and arrest you?
Me: No, honey. No one tries to shoot me when I cross a state line.
While learning about rounding and estimating:
Me: Who can remind me what a rounded number is?
Student: A number that isn't flat
After an extenisve conversation and showing examples of subjects and predicates of sentences:
Me: Alright, just to make sure we've really got it, someone remind me again what the subject of the sentence is.
Student: What or who the sentence is about.
Me: Excellent! That's right. Now, can you tell me what the predicate is?
Student: A person, place, or thing.
Me: No, honey, that's a noun. Don't you remember that the predicate is the action that the subject does?
Student: Oh, yea
Me: OK, so what is the predicate in the sentence "Sally rode her bike to the park"?
Student: A person, place, or thing
(And I just want to point out that we hadn't really talked about nouns at all in several weeks)
Before reading the next chapter of a read-aloud, and it's been over a week since I last read.
Me: OK, I know it's been a while, but who can remember what happened in the last chapter?
Student 1: The animals are looking for their owners and they've found a town to stay in. They saw a picture of the evil queen, but she was happy in the picture. The animals could have slept right by her picture, but they were too scared to, so they decided to try and find another place to camp for the night.
Me: Wow, that's very good. That's exactly what happened in the last chapter. What a wonderful summary.
Student 2 (speaking of student 1): Yeah, now if he could just remember to behave as well as he remembers what happens in the books.
While answering summary questions from a guided reading book.
Me: OK, the next question is asking why you think that Wilbur thought that Charlotte was bloodthirsty and not someone he would like very much. So, the question wants whose opinion?
Me: OK, but who is "you"?
Me: No, the question isn't asking for me to answer it, they are asking for you to answer it. I want to know what YOU think, what YOUR ideas are. So, again, who is going to answer this question?
Me: OK, nevermind, just answer the question the best way YOU can.
While standing on the playground in the freezing cold watching the kids play, while a student is standing next to me.
Student: Look at those kids playing without their coats on!
Me: I know! What do you think I should do about it?
Student: Smack 'em!
Student: Yep, with a fly swatter. That's what my momma would do.
And these little gems, my friends, have all happened in the last two days. I could go on and on and on with some that have happened over the course of the past few months.
These little moments are just another reason why I have the best job in the world. I don't know many places that I could work that could make me laugh so much and love so much. Each kid I come in to contact with puts a smile on my face - in some way or another.