Saturday, March 30, 2013

BYOC - On Saturday

I didn't post yesterday because after I stumbled out of bed, I had to get ready to take my car in for it's scheduled service.  It's a very responsible and mature thing that I'm now doing to take care of my brand new car.  Even if it means getting out of bed early on the first day off of Easter break.

So, I didn't get to do BYOC yesterday, so I'm doing it today...  Draz posts the questions, I copy them and answer them, and my blog gets a decent post for the week.  WIN, WIN, WIN!

1. What’s your first reaction when you get really angry?

My very first reaction when I feel my blood pressure rising is yell.  At whoever is closest enough to take the lashing - regardless of whether or not I'm actually mad at that person.  The yelling gets worse if I hear the words "calm down!"  Those are my trigger words that lead in to more yelling about why I won't calm down and why I have every right to yell and be angry.

Usually, the yelling only lasts a couple of minutes, and then I either feel better and let it go or I resort to my second reaction which is locking everything in and giving the silent treatment.  My kids, Hubby, and other people that know me very well will tell you that this stage of my anger is WAY more scary than the first reaction.  When I'm silent and stewing it means that I'm internally processing the reasons for my anger...and that will ultimately lead to another blow up or some form of over reaction.  Over reactions depend on the circumstances of my anger.  They include but are not limited to taking away every possession owned or operated by the child I'm mad at, bringing up every flaw or situation that has happened between myself and the victim in the past, cursing like a sailor, and possibly throwing stuff.  The second reaction happens very rarely, as usually the yelling just helps - and then I feel guilty for a while for yelling, and end up apologizing and letting it go.

2. When is the last time you cried in sadness or in joy?

Well, I cried last week after watching the first episode of Army Wives of this season.  I teared up watching this week's Chicago Fire last night.  Does that count?  Sappy, sad TV shows will get me every time.

In real life, I've teared up a few times over the course of the past few weeks with joy because of certain situations that are taking place in my life right now....and I know that in exactly one month - when I can come on here and scream and happy dance my way through my news - I will cry like a baby from pure, exhilarating joy.  Or pure, heartbroken, worse than I've ever cried before sadness if it doesn't work out.  The clock is ticking on which one it will be... but my gut is telling me that it's going to be tears of joy.  Positive thinking!

3. If the stars aligned and everything was perfect from your partner to your job and income and everything – how many kids would you choose to have?

Growing up, I always imagined having only two children.  A girl and a boy.  I got my wish at a very young age, and honestly told myself that I was done and didn't need to have any more children.  But because I had my first two kids when I was so young, and despite Hubby being perfectly content with his "ready made family", the baby bug started to get to me and I yearned for another.  And then Jelly came along.

Six years ago, I would have sworn that two was the magic number.  Having three made it uneven.  Bedrooms would have to be shared, there would always be a middle child, and there would be an unbalance.  But, it appears I was wrong.  Three is the magic number.  I have no desire to have any more children.  I'm perfectly content with my children.  Yes, there's a middle child.  Yes, there are two girls and only one boy.  Yes, a bedroom is being shared.  But, I can do something about that last one hopefully one day soon.

The two oldest fight like cats and dogs, and Jelly has nothing to do with that.  Whether she came or didn't, I don't see that there would be any change to that.  Jelly has, in fact, put some peace on that situation.  She is young enough to keep Butter occupied and out of Peanut's space.  There's enough of an age gap that the two oldest can "do their thing" and Jelly doesn't feel left out.  Yes, I definitely think that 3 if fine - and most definitely enough.

4. If you won the lottery – what is the first purchase you’d make?

This is a no brainer.  I'd buy a new house.  And, not a fancy, lavish mansion.  Just a house big enough for us. It would have to be four bedrooms with a nice, big yard.  Maybe a pool.  Just because I had millions of dollars doesn't mean I need to live in a house worth millions of dollars.  The one and only reason for that is because I would be the one that would have to clean it.  I would never hire someone to clean my house... so why on earth put myself out with a house so big it would take me days to clean?  I'd pay cash for it, so no mortgage payments...and that would make me very happy and content.

5. Repeat question. Summarize your week in real life and in blog land.

Well, blog land has been a little dry and boring.  I'm sure that one of the hardest things I've ever had to do is keep my mouth shut about stuff going on in my life.  And that's what I've had to do the past few weeks...which has majorly affected my blogging.

Real life has been exciting and stressful and good.

I had to give my kiddos at school their Mock MAP test last week, and now I get to wade through the numbers to see what I have to cover in the next four weeks before the real MAP test is given.  I was very happy with the numbers that came from the Communication Arts portions of the tests.  Not so happy with the math part.  But, there was growth...on both...and that's something to be happy about.

Outside of school, my life has been like a baseball game.  Waiting for the winning run.  I rounded through first base, waited just a little on second, third base was a steal, and now I'm sitting on third base waiting to head on home.  It looks so close, but yet so far away.  For an entire month I'm going to be sitting on this base wondering if I'll be able to score that home run or be tagged out at the last second.

I know too well not to count my chickens before they hatch.  Too many times I've played this baseball game.  I remember last year....sailed my way through first base and submitting applications, sat on second for a while waiting for interviews, getting the interviews on third, and then just when I thought home plate was mine for the taking - BAM, tagged out in the last second.  OK, I finally did score a home run - but after many, many outs.  I just pray to all things holy that I don't have to go through that again with what I'm dealing with now.

And, just how amazing is my metaphor for my life?  A baseball game.  Huh.  It appears that my writing mojo is still working...I just need to think about writing in code...or metaphors.  Food for thought going in to next week, I suppose.

Alright, time to get ready to head to P-Momma's for some Easter fun.  I'm going to ignore the fact that it's absolutely pouring rain outside...indoor egg hunt it is!


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