It's Monday. Again. And thanks to springing forward in time, a bad tooth ache, a sick child, and house hunting - I'm so ready to crawl back in bed and not wake up until next Monday.
But, I can't.
Got to get ready to get back in the classroom for another fun filled week of learning.
This is going to be a really tough week for me. I just know it. Because my mind is going to be somewhere else...consumed with thoughts and anxiety and maybe even a little fear.
I found the house I wanted, yesterday. It happened. The moment I've been waiting for...where I walked in to a house and just knew it was the one for me. From the brand new floors, to the high ceilings, to the floor to ceiling rock feature around the fireplace, to the large bedrooms, the country style kitchen, and the inground pool. I pictured myself living in that house within a few minutes of walking in the front door.
While everyone else was walking around asking important questions about utilities and neighbors and structural problems - I was already placing the furniture in the living room, assigning kids to bedrooms, and imagining myself drinking a cup of coffee on the private deck attached to the master bedroom that just happens to overlook a mini lake that is behind the house.
I'll even admit that Phillip Phillips started playing the background music in my head.
Within an hour of leaving, I was on the phone to my banker talking numbers. Wanting to know what could we offer, what would our payments be, what type of inspections and assessments would need to be done....I was on the ball.
And then, I got home and faced the look on Hubby's face.
Surprise, surprise...he has reservations.
The monthly payment is going to be about $150 more than we're currently paying.
We have no idea how much our utilities are going to be on such a large house.
What type of insurance payment are we going to have to pay?
Are we really ready to take on such a big commitment?
And the million dollar question...
What happens to the house we're in now?
I could feel the anger well up inside of me. I knew that would happen. Him having the reservations - not me filling up with anger.
The Realtor, the banker, and my parents all admitted that we're not going to find such a beautiful house for such a cheap price anywhere else. In fact, just waiting a few days to put in an offer could compromise our ability to buy the house - because a house that nice at that price won't last long.
Plus, if we pass and decide to try and find something cheaper....we may be waiting a very long time. Not just that, but another month and house buying season starts...meaning a lot more people will be looking for houses to buy, increasing the housing market prices.
Of course, I understand some of his reservations. I surely don't want to jump in to something we can't handle. But, I'll also be fuming if we let this house pass us by and end up back at square one looking at houses in the same price range that need major work that we just can't afford.
I also understand him not wanting to just walk away from the house we're living in, because it will put his parents in a terrible situation with what to do with the house if we're not paying for it. In fact, I love that he cares so much....
But, at the end of the day, I strongly believe that if the roles were reversed he'd make one statement to me "We have to put us first".
Do we continue to live in a rundown house that could possibly be verging on the level of dangerous - and not just structurally but also medically if there's as much mold in this house as I think there is?
I don't think so.
So, I don't know what this week is going to hold. Will we put in an offer? Will we sit on it a while and it be too late? Will we decide to let it go and keep looking?
I just don't know.
But what I do know is that many of those options could lead to the road to disaster and utter turmoil in my mind.
Let the anxiety begin!