Saturday, September 04, 2010

Able to Overcome a Fear? Priceless!

I'm so excited today.  I'm doing something that I haven't done in YEARS!!  I'm taking my kids to the county fair.  If you're thinking "big deal" then let me tell you why it's such a big deal for me. 

When I was a kid, I LOVED going to carnivals and theme parks.  I LOVED going on rollercoasters, thrill rides, and anything that flipped upside down or flipped your stomach upside down.  After I had kids, I developed the craziest fears that really dampened my thrill seeking days.  I developed a fear of heights, riding in a car with no seat belt, and lost my love of carnivals.  I was still OK at theme parks, because I held the mentality that theme park rides were maintained much better than run down carnival rides, although I stayed away from the really big rides (the extreme rollercoasters and stuff).  My fears started to calm as my kids got a little older, but another factor brought new fears to my going to carnivals AND theme weight.

There's nothing worse than trying to get on a carnival ride and having to squeeze into the seat.  Then, the device comes down to strap you into your seat, and it takes two carnies to push it in far enough to latch.  It really is the worst experience, I should know, I lived it.  I went to a carnival about 7 or 8 years ago - weighing probably close to about 260lbs.  I got on a ride with a friend, and two carnies had to use their entire body weights to push the bar down far enough to lock.  I could feel my circulation being cut off in my lower extremities - and you try and enjoy a thrill ride when you're doing nothing but worrying if the latch will stay in place while your body weight is pushing up against it.  That experience was enough for me to say NEVER AGAIN!! I haven't been to a carnival since.

But HO HO, things are different now!!!  I had planned on doing my "official" weigh in tomorrow...but I really wanted to weigh in this morning.  I did....and the scale said: 206lbs.  That means I've lost 4lbs in a month.  That doesn't really mean much...but, of course, I'm happy.  Any loss is good.  It may not sound like much to people that are losing 4lbs a week - but with what I've been doing the past month, I was very lucky.  I know that I said yesterday that I've lost my dependence on the scale - but seeing that I'm only 7lbs from being in the 100's has kind of ignited a new fire in me.  I'm so close I can taste it...and it taste's GOOD!!! 

Anyways, I that I know I weigh 206lbs, I'm in a size 16, and I'm healthier than I've been in a decade, the fear of the carnival rides has been replaced with pure excitement.  I know that I'm not going to need assistance to be squeezed into a ride.  I know that I will be able to spend the whole afternoon with my kids walking around the fair grounds without getting tired and needing to sit down every five minutes.  I know that I'm going to have fun - and that is the best part of all.

So, now it's time to go and get ready for a great day.  The weather is beautiful, my mood is is beautiful!!

Tomorrow I will do my update on the measurements....

Till next time.  ;)

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  1. Congratulations, that's so awesome! Good luck on continuing to meet your goals, & I hope you have an amazing time at the carnival!

  2. Woot, have a great time and grats on the loss! As you say, it's still a loss and going in the right direction ^_^

    Totally feel your pain regarding previous theme park experiences, I too used to absolutely love theme park rides however after returning to my favorite theme park a couple of years ago to find that their new ride had a weight restriction due to it's dynamics and that I was about 35 pounds over that restriction, I kind of put them on the back burner since then. Oh well, hopefully those days will soon be in the past as they are already for you!

  3. I think it's great you are able to stay committed and positive. I'll throw this out there, since I know you like helping others and motivating us. When I lost weight before in 2005, I got down to around 195 and the weight was barely coming off, 2-4lbs a month. I couldn't handle it. I couldn't reprogram my brain to accept that this was steady and healthy and good. I felt like a failure and all the "fat" thoughts came rushing back in. I starting gaining the weight back and am now larger than I was when I started in 05... .though I'm almost back down to that starting weight and it feels -good-.
    I'm really scared that I will repeat this.

    Anyway, anything you experience in the area of staying motivated with slow loss will be very helpful for me. I'm a long ways away from there, but I want to be prepared.


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