Sunday, May 20, 2012

Now This Is The Life!

At this very moment in time, life is good. No, it's great. I'm sitting on the front porch at my parents' house. I'm watching the kids play. The weather is cloudy and cool. I hear the gobbling of a turkey, the bleating of goats, the quacks of ducks and geese. In my mind, I'm on worries are floating away with the wind and I'm absorbing the feeling of calmness and tranquility.

The hustle and bustle of job interviews, the worrying and waiting for answers, the uncertainty of what my future holds all mean nothing at this moment. All I need to worry about right now is...nothing. I can enjoy my view, soak in the air around me, and free my mind from the pressure of worry and the unknown.

I wonder how many of these moments I've let pass me by. How many times have I missed my children playing and being carefree? How many times has the opportunity to just sit and relax come and gone without me even realizing it? Probably too many than I care to know. But - it doesn't matter... I have time, now.

I need to learn something from this. I need to learn that THIS is what life is about. I know I have to worry about finding a job. I have to worry about what my future holds. I have to worry about what I eat in order to lose weight. But, I don't have to worry all of the time... I need to let it go. Every now and then, I just have to stop. I have to relax, breath, enjoy the moments.

It's raining, now. Normally play time would be over - back in the house where it's dry. But why? A little rain never hurt anyone. Kids need the chance to enjoy the rain. Mommas need the chance to watch their kids play in the I'm enjoying now.

A couple of weeks ago, I was very nervous about spending four weeks at my mom's house. Not nervous about being here, or taking care of the kids - about being away from my "normal" life. What if someone calls with a job offer? What if I get a call about an interview? But, now, I realize that this trip is necessary. I still have my phone. I'm still reachable if anyone needs me. But, I also have some freedom.. a chance to have some down-time.

I know that this post is a little melancholy. But, I'm really very happy. A lot happier than I've been in a while. I needed an escape - some time to just free my mind a little. And when my mind starts to loosen... it spills out here. I can capture my thoughts, my feelings, my surroundings on to a page.

I'm not going through some life changing revelation. I don't suddenly have the answers to all the questions that replay over and over in my head. But, I've discovered a pause button. I've found a way that I can at least escape for a while. And it's as simple as sitting on a porch, in the country, watching my kids.

I could sit here all day. I could sit here and write all day. The words just want to flow out of me. Maybe I'll do just that... but don't worry - I'll spare you all from the endless words. That's what private journal apps are for, right?

But, I've done what I needed to do here. I've checked in. I've shared that life is A-OK. I'm enjoying myself. Something I haven't done in too long.

This Is The Life!

Till next time. ;)

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