Thursday, May 31, 2012

I Had to Say Goodbye

The dog in these pictures is Asia.  The dog that I've owned since she was 8 weeks old.  The dog that has slept in my bed every night since she was 8 weeks old.  The dog that has always been at the door waiting for me whenever I get home.  The dog that has done all of that for 6 years.

I told you all yesterday how I posted an ad on Craigslist to give her away - because she needed a better home.  A home with a backyard and an owner that had more time to give her the love she deserves and needs. 

That woman came today.  She was as perfect as I was hoping - and scared of.  She had a beautiful baby boy with her - and they both spent some time with Asia...petting her, holding her, testing the waters to see if Asia was the dog they were looking for.  And, unfortunately for me, she was.

Asia knew something was going on.  As I held her, she was shaking.  She knew, somehow, that I was about to say goodbye.  I could feel it.  I didn't want to cry.  I didn't want to upset stupid as that sounds.  I also didn't want to let her go.  She's probably the only pet I've had for so long - and she was such a good dog.  She was loyal and loving - and she was the dog I'd wanted my whole life.  And now she's gone.

I know I did the right thing, but it doesn't make the pain any easier.  I know that Asia will be taken care of - but that won't make me miss her any less.  Already the house feels empty without her.  She's not at my feet like she's always been when I'm on my computer.  And it feels cold and empty down there on the floor where her bed used to be.

My only hope is that Asia will be happy and comfortable at her new home.  As long as she is happy, I will be happy.  It will take a lot of getting used to her not being here - but I will... eventually. 

There are a lot of changes and stuff happening in my life right now.  Some good.  Some not so good.  But, what I have to realize is that the not so good are just temporary....the good are here for a long time. 

There's two weeks until my parents come home.  I'm at the halfway mark - I've done it for two weeks, I can do it for two more.  I have a new kitty.  While I'm definitely not convinced that she will provide the companionship and love that Asia provided - Hubby likes her, so that's a plus I didn't have.  And then there's my job.  I did it!  How can I not be happy about that?  It trumps everything else going on...EVERY-THING! 

And with all this, my weight loss efforts have taken a back seat once again.  While I know that I will be jumping back on the wagon soon - I'm forgiving myself for letting it slide at the moment.  Once I'm back home, buying my own groceries, being able to get to the gym and have time to myself - things will get back to normal.  I can go back to planning my meals, eating clean, and working-out.  Yeah, I know I've said it over and over...and it's hard to believe me anymore. But I believe me.  I believe in myself.  That's all that really matters.  I will never give up - and I still have plenty of time this summer to make some serious changes. 

So, today I said goodbye to a very dear friend.  I will miss her and hold a special place in my heart for her always.  I will never forget the comfort she gave me...and that I will now have to find something else to provide the love and comfort she gave me.  But both of our lives have taken different directions.  She can go on and discover new adventures - and I will do the same.

I love you, Asia - Always will.  I know you will love your new home - and that you will miss me as much as I miss you.  Enjoy your new life - and I owe it to you to enjoy mine.

Till next time. ;)


1 comment:

  1. :( I'm sorry that you are missing your sweet little Asia. I know what you did was incredibly hard - even though it was the right decision. I'm glad to hear that Asia got a perfect, new family to be a part of. I hope that gives you some comfort while you adjust to not having her around every day. Hugs, Joanna!


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