Monday, May 14, 2012

Starting the Home Stretch

Dear Diary...

Today is Monday.  A regular, ordinary Monday.  There's no special holiday or event taking place today... but today is special.  It's the last Monday of the 2011-2012 school year.  It's the last Monday I have to get up at 4:30am.  I'm hoping with all my might that today is also the last Monday of not being a teacher...but there's no certainty in that.

Yeppers.  This is the last week of school.  It's not really a week, though, because my last day is Thursday.  It seems unreal that there's only four days left...this year has gone by so fast.  I had hoped that I would have been offered a teaching job by now - but there's still plenty of time left.  I'm going to stay positive... I have to.

Yesterday wasn't exactly the perfect Mother's Day.  I think I have a sinus infection...or it's just my allergies being a total pain... but I felt really cruddy yesterday.  We started the day out by going for breakfast, and then we headed over to my parent's house.  While I was there, I started getting a really bad headache. It ended up cutting our visit short.  Then, we had to go to the grocery store to get something for dinner... and I just felt weak, in pain.  I was ready to get home.  I then slept for two hours.  I did feel a little better when I woke up - but the inside of my nose feels like it's been inflated to maximum capacity and could explode at any time. 

It's going to be a really busy week.  I have to think about clearing out my office at work - either ready to come back to next year, or because I won't be back next year.  I have to pack clothes ready to move to my mom's on Thursday for a month.  I have to clean my house - because it's only fair that I leave the house clean and not the tornado sight it is now.  And I also have to enjoy all the events and activities that are going on...I have to remember that this may be the last year at my school.  I'm praying that's not the case - but my future is so uncertain at this point, I just have to make sure all my ducks are in a row.

I have a queasy feeling in my stomach.  I'm not sure if it's because I'm nervous and excited about what this week may bring, or it's because of the head crud.  Whatever it is, I'm not sure I like the feeling.  My sleep last night was interrupted by all kinds of bad dreams.  I replayed the moments from last year when the realization hit that I wasn't getting a teaching job.  I had a dream, at one point, that I was standing in a room full of people I work with and people I went to school with and they were all laughing at me, pointing at me, and yelling "It's never going to happen".  I had a dream where I was in the principal's office - and for some reason my mother was there - and the principal told me I just wasn't cut out to be a teacher, and that it was time for me to move on to something else.  It was like my own horror movie marathon going on in my head. 

Regardless of what my subconscious decides to play in my head - I'm not listening!  I know it's just my inner demons trying to mess with me... but I won't let them win. 

One thing I do know is that I'm going to try with all my might to make this the last Monday where I whine about my job hunt.  I know I'm like a broken record repeating the same stuff over and over.  Unfortunately for people that enjoy reading my blog - I just have to blog about what's on my mind.  I wish I could say that I'm really focused on my weight loss efforts.. but that would be a lie, and you all know that's not how I roll.  But, I am hoping that once this week is over, I can start refocusing.  Getting back on track.  Remembering that this blog is supposed to be the chronicles of losing weight - not trying to find a job. 

For those of you that have stuck with me...and bless you for putting up with me....I need your prayers and thoughts this week.  I'm hoping that this is the week something is going to happen.  It sure would be nice to head out on summer break knowing what's in store for me next school year.  I have seen the power of prayer play out before my eyes.  Now... I'm ready to bring it home.  I'm ready to start this home stretch - and come out victorious.

Till next time . ;)

1 comment:

  1. no bueno!! Sorry you are not feeling that great :(

    My thoughts & prayers are with you this week! I'm hoping you get everything you want!!


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