I've been working so hard lately, not just on my weight loss but on life in general. For 33 days, I haven't eaten a single piece of candy, chocolate, or pretty much anything "bad". I've done a bloody good job of keeping my calories in check, choosing healthy options, loading up on fruits and veggies, and doing my exercise. Yesterday, I made an exception to the rule - but I'm ok with it.
After a great dinner of baked chicken, red potatoes and steamed green beans - I indulged in having a slice of caramel apple pie with a scoop of ice-cream. I don't know why - and even as I was fixing my bowl, pangs of guilt was rushing through my body. I kept telling myself - put it down, it's not going to be good. Then I heard another voice say - "eat the pie, it's not going to kill you - you've worked so hard - you're not going to completely fall off the wagon over one piece of pie". This was a new voice, one I've never heard before - the healthier me voice. So, I ate the pie - loved every bite of it - and that was that.
It occured to me after eating it, that even though I had restricted myself to NOTHING but healthy foods for 60 days - I can't realistically spend the rest of my life never enjoying simple things like a scoop of ice-cream or a piece of pie. A month ago, a sweet indulgance like that would have had a devastating spiral effect on me. One piece wouldn't of been enough, I would of wanted more - and eaten more. Last night was such a wake up call for me. I felt totally ok with treating myself, just once. I knew after I'd eaten it that treats like that were going to be very rare - and that I was ok with that. I've enjoyed seeing my progress, I've felt better physically and mentally than I have in years, and I've come to a point in my life where I truly feel like my life will be different. There won't be any falling off the wagon here!!
It's so funny to believe that in just 30 days, I'm a completely new person. Not on the outside - yet - but definately on the inside. Every package I pick up, I check the calories. Every meal that gets prepared by my husband is portion controlled - and I make any changes that I need to regarding side dishes. Heck, I've even fixed something completely different for myself if I don't like what's being eaten - calorie wise - by the rest of my family. This is not the same person I was a month ago. It's so amazing to me how a piece of caramel apple pie made me feel and see what I'm becoming - and I definately have to say...I like who I'm becoming!!
Till next time :)