Thursday, December 30, 2010

Be Careful What You Wish For

You know how I've complained for months about needing a break, wanting some time off, and tired of being so busy?  Well, I got my wish...and it's DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!!

Yeah, I said it.  I'm done.  I can't take another day of doing nothing, going nowhere.  I'm going insane!!  For three days I've sat on the couch, cleaned, watched movies, taken a quick shopping trip - and I'm going out of my mind with boredom!  I know I'm going to regret saying this, but:  I miss being busy!

Yesterday was a rough day.  After posting my blog about not being able to go to my mom's cause Jelly was sick and hearing some bad news about the blog swap - the phone rang.  It was my father-in-law telling me that my brother-in-law was in a nasty wreck.  He was driving his motorcycle, went off the road, hit a tree, and ended up breaking his leg and shattering his knee cap..OY!!  That was three pieces of bad news before 11:30.  Those things come in threes, so I should have expected something else - I was expecting something else.  I was so ready to go back to bed and not wake up until this morning.

I couldn't go back to bed, though, because I had a sick three year old to take care of.  She had a really rough day.  Her fever stayed at 103 all day.  She didn't move from the couch, except to go to the bathroom - which I had to carry her to, because she didn't feel like walking.  I kept her hydrated, and she slept on and off most of the day.  Other than the fever and a runny nose, she really had no other symptoms - but I could tell she felt like total crap.  It was worse last night.  She woke up about every thirty minutes, crying - and a couple of times I was about ready to rush her to the ER.  She would wake up crying "it hurts" but wasn't able to tell me what hurt.  She was still mostly asleep.  I would hold her, and she would fall back to sleep.  This continued all night, until about 5am.  At 5am, she woke up and asked to go to the bathroom - and she was back to being the same ol' Jelly.  Her fever had broken, and she was in a good mood.  Right now, she's back to her normal self - running around the house and driving the other two kids nuts.

I'm exhausted, but I'm to tired to be tired.  I'm tired of being in the house.  I'm tired of having nothing to do.  These past few days have made me realize why I could never be a stay at home mom - because it would drive me completely around the bend.  Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with my kids.  Being able to spend some time with them has been great - and I know I'll be whining and crying about not spending enough time with them in about 3 weeks - but I'm getting antsy.  I'm the kind of person that likes to be on the go...things to do, people to see kind of gal. 

Luckily for me, I have just one more day of doing this.  Tomorrow, come hell or high water, I'm going to my mom's.  I'm going to my mom's and I'm going to have a good time.  I'm going to have a few drinks, play a few games, belt out a few songs, and enjoy spending time with my family.  I need it - for my own sanity.  Saturday, I will come home, and then I can start my big plans for the next leg of my weight loss.  That will keep me busy - that and getting all of my lesson plans ready for next week.  I've deliberately procrastinated on doing that - just so I'll be kept busy on Sunday.

I feel kind of selfish and bad about complaining.  I know that there are lots of people out there that would love to spend more time with their families.  I get given the chance, and I complain about it - Mother of the Year award recipient right here, I tell ya. It's not the kids, though.  It's the house.  It's the lack of having anything to do.  I know my kids are feeling the same way.  Peanut and Butter are both ready to go back to school - they are also tired of sitting around the house.  Yes, before you say it - I could find somewhere to go...but everything requires money - and that is something I'm a little short on right now.  It's too cold to go to the park, and that's about the only free activity around here.

So, I sit for another day.  I sit eating, getting fatter, feeling sorry for myself.  I'm going to work on making my new year resolution list, today.... number one on that list?  Stop being such a downer!!  I complain too much.  I want to stop that.  I want to be happy - I am happy.  I just have a bad way of showing it.

Till next time.  ;)

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