Saturday, November 27, 2010

Dear Motivation...

I know that I took most of the day Wednesday and all day Thursday off from doing homework, but yesterday I was supposed to get a lot of homework done.  I didn't, and now I'm very upset.  I know that you are completely burned out, tired, ready for a break - but the end is in sight.  We just have to get through this next week, and then you can rest all you want.

I still have so much to do.  I have the group paper to write, the lesson plans for next week's lessons, and 75% of the Unit left to finish.  The lesson plans and the group paper really need to be finished by Monday.  I know that's a lot to ask - but we can do it.  We just need to work together, and we can knock it out in no time. 

If you work with me to get these things done, we won't have to do anymore homework until January.  Can you imagine?  A whole month off of doing homework.  I really want to work extra hard today and tomorrow to get the group project and the lesson plans out of the way.  I promise to give you little breaks, when you need them, but we really have to knock it out of the park today - OK?

Your boss,

Dear Brain,

The boss lady wrote me a letter about all the homework she still has to finish.  Does she not know how tired we all are?  That woman has had us working non-stop since August!  Whoppty doo, she gave us two days off this week - but now she wants to put us on double time to make up for it.  Is she crazy?

I'm not sure why she just wrote the letter to me, I'm not the only reason she's having a hard time getting anything done. I know that all of the distractions - like her family being in the house, the Christmas movies...they aren't helping me any.  How does she expect me to do my job when she sits in front of the TV? 

Anyway, I know you're just as burned out as I am - but I can't do what she asks without you.  She's going to need your power to make me go, and she's going to need you to come up with all this stuff that she has to get done in the next week.  Not really sure why she wrote to me in the first place - you're the most important part to this whole equation.

Your friend,

To all that I control:

My dear friend, Motivation, just let me know that the boss isn't very happy.  Of course, I knew this -I know everything that goes on with her.  She chose to contact Motivation - which is understandable.  She has this delusion that Motivation is running the show - of course, we all know better.

You all know that I've really been feeling the burdens that the boss has - and I'm very tired.  I want more than any of you to be done with this whole mess - but we have to see it to the end.  You know it's not in our blood to quit.  That is why, I am contacting you all.  Effective immediately, we are all going to work together - as equals - to help our stressed out leader complete the tasks that have been asked of her.  We all know that the next week is going to be tough.  It's probably going to mean little sleep for us all.  I know that we can do it.  To help us a little more, I've come up with a few special tasks that I need to delegate, in order to be the most effective body we can be:
  • Stomach: Make sure the woman remembers to eat...and it wouldn't hurt to recommend a few healthy choices and try and avoid all the junk.
  • Legs: You're going to really have to work on being so restless.  Any time she sits down at her desk, you get the urge to move her.  Try and stay focused, relax a little when she's working.
  • Bladder:  You're big, your your power now.  I know she keeps drinking the coffee by the gallons - but be resilient!! 
  • Fingers:  You're going to have to work the closest with me this week.  I know that you and I haven't really gotten along very well lately.  The connection between us seems to have gotten strained or lost somewhere...but we must now come together once again as a team.  As I give you the ideas, you have to type them.
  • Nose and lungs:  OK, she's been sick all week - don't you think enough is enough?  She really can't focus when she's sneezing, coughing, or wheezing.  If you two don't pull yourself together, things are fuzzy for me.  It's hard for me to see how everyone else is doing if I'm in a fog - you two are the ones causing the fog.  It's time to give it a rest, now.  You've had your fun.
  • Heart:  My equal, my are stronger than any of us here.  Whenever I want to quit, you are the one that pulls me back to my senses.  She really needs you this week more than ever.  I know that she's counting on you - probably more than the rest of us.  In my opinion, I think the woman thinks that you and Motivation are the same.  I want you to stand with me and help control everyone - you've always been the nice one, but this're going to have to be strict - like me.
  • To everyone else:  Work as a team.  If you work under one of the mentioned parts listed above - do what your supervisor asks. 
This is it, folks.  We've been training for this moment for many years.  We always knew that the stress levels wouldn't hold - and eventually she would reach her breaking point.  Well, that time has come.  Do your best.  I can't ask for anything better than that.  Let's make her proud.

Your fearless leader,

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