Monday, November 08, 2010

Life - Where Are You?

As promised, I will not be talking about homework today.  It's Monday.  Time to head back to work for another week.  I'm making myself a few little promises this week - hopefully I will be able to keep them.  I'm not one to break promises...not really sure if I'm as dedicated when I'm making the promises to myself - I guess we shall see.

First, I'm going to do something for me this week.  Something I don't have to do.  Something I haven't wanted to do for a long time - but want to now.  RUN.  This past weekend I've thought about just getting up from my computer, putting on my running shoes, and leaving for a run.  Not just because I wanted any excuse to pull me away from my computer - but because I really just wanted to.  Each time I stepped outside, I thought how perfect the weather was for it.  Did I do it?  Well, no.  My promise to myself is to go each day after work.  Maybe I only do a mile, maybe I do three.  I'm not going to be doing it for the exercise, or to burn calories - I'm going to do it just because it's something I love and haven't done in a too long.  I need to do something to help clear my mind each day - so I'm not continuing to pile on to an already overloaded brain.

Second, I'm going to eat better this week.  I really don't know what happened to me last week - I couldn't stop eating.  Part of me is saying that it was emotional eating.  I was stressed - so I turned to an old friend to help me though it - food.  I was going to step on the scale this morning to see how much damage I did to myself...but I just couldn't do it.  I really don't need more stress on my plate right now - and seeing a gain on the scale would add to that stress.  I'm a week away from the Biggest Loser final weigh-in.  I've come to terms with the fact that I'm not going to win...but I will be devastated if I step on the scale and I'm back to where I started in the beginning of the competition. 

Lastly, I have to do something about the stress.  My loyal readers know that I despise stress.  I think that the running and the eating better will help.  Having so much on my plate is wearing me down.  I usually tackle situations like this head on - nothing can bring me down - but I'm starting to feel run-down.  I'm tired all of the time, my motivation is around a -3.  I feel the deadlines approaching, and they are getting to me.  I miss hanging out with my family.  I miss having nothing to talk about but how much work I have.  I miss having a life.  I know I'm a college student - and college work is my life right now - but I have other things to think about.  My kids need me.  Hubby needs me.  Even when I'm not locked in my office, I'm either lost in my thoughts of what I have to do or falling asleep on the couch. 

I have no plan on how I'm going to deal with the last promise.  All I know is that something has to be done.  The organizer in me wants to make a schedule - and schedule out the amount of time I spend in my office each night and how much time I spend with my family.  Then I curse the fact that I even have to consider scheduling time for my family.  That will not happen.  They are not going to become victims of my weekly planner for me to make time for.  I'm thinking that I might start taking some work to work with me.  I get almost two hours during the day for planning, recess, and lunch - maybe I can get some work done it that time.  That would help.  Wow - that's a great idea....see, I told you this blog is therapeutic.

Right, I'm going to try a few things this week:  take some time for myself by going out for a run every afternoon, get rid of the junk food that has found it's way into my house recently, and stop stressing so much about how much I have to do.  I'm going to take some work with me each day - even take my laptop. 

Huh, I'm feeling much better now.  It really is amazing what I can accomplish on this blog. Letting all of my thoughts, feelings, and stresses flow through my fingers - and the solutions follow.  Nice!

"Talking about problems is a great way to solve them.  It doesn't matter that you talk to yourself - if you can help find your solutions."

Till next time. ;)

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