Sunday, January 09, 2011

Filling in Pot Holes

My journey to a healthy lifestyle isn't just about losing weight and being able to exercise.  I want to adopt a healthy mind, body, and soul.  I can lose weight.  I can eat healthy foods.  I can exercise often.  All of those things will help repair the physical damages that I have created - but they, alone, can't mend the years of mental damage that I have also done.  In order to reach true happiness - which having a healthy lifestyle is about for me - I have to also be happy with the inside.

Stay with me - I have a point.

My point is, for a week I've stuck to talking about my diet and exercise but haven't really talked much about the spiritual journey that I'm also on.  A journey to feel peace and happiness within myself.

I mentioned in my goals and preparations for the new year that I was going to start yoga and meditation - not for the physical benefits, but for the mental ones.  I want to clear my mind from the damage of stress.  I want to discover my abilities to push away the negativity that can often surround me, and replace it with positivity.

Still going with the point...

This week, I've mediated a few times.  During one of my meditations, I heard a voice - my voice - say something that has replayed in my mind ever since.  Words that bring goosebumps when I really start to think about them.  My inner voice said this...

"The road to happiness is filled with large pot holes.  You can drive over them, but the road will be very bumpy and uncomfortable and you can risk the chance of damaging your vehicle.  Instead, you can take a little extra time to fill the pot holes - and then the journey will be much smoother ."

I know - WOW, right?  Who knew that I could be so deep?

I've really spent a lot of time pondering my own words - what do they mean?  How can I fill pot holes in an imaginary road? Well, with a little deep thinking I had my answer.

I, like everyone else, am not perfect.  I have flaws.  I have fears.  I have physical features that I hate about myself, personality traits that I'd rather not have.  I have a past that has had a major impact on my current situation - my being overweight and a lot of my fears. 

The only way that I'm going to really reach my destination of true happiness is to find all of those issues (the potholes on the road) and repair them by discovering a way to embrace them, love them, love myself. 

The construction starts right now, today, this very second...with the introduction to my new Sunday blog theme:  repairing the pot holes.  Sundays are now going to be totally devoted to the discovery of myself, the journey to loving myself unconditionally, and accepting all of the features and flaws and fears and quirks and annoying traits that make me who I am and embracing each and every one of them - one at a time.

Today, just because I've already said so much, will be a quick one.  I have already been working on my first "situation" this week.  Today, I'm going to confront the fact that I am a complete and utter bit  witch first thing in the morning - until I've had a cup of coffee.

Don't laugh - this is serious!

Hubby and the kids tell me that it's best to avoid me - as if your life depended on it - first thing in the morning, until I've poured the first cup of coffee down my throat.  They can't talk to me.  They can't ask me anything.  Don't even think of saying "good morning" because then you've just opened up a porthole to my demonic self as I unleash my wrath on how it is definitely NOT a good morning.

How do I fix it? 

Well, the yoga has helped.  By giving me something to focus on - with my mind and body - I release the demons that sit waiting to be extinguished by hot liquid.  I am able to go to a happy place - a place of calm, relaxation....the same place that my coffee seems to also have taken me every day. 

That worked wonders when I was doing it at 4am before anyone else in the house was up.  The true test came yesterday and today - when I awoke after the others.  I did something that knocked their socks off.  I greeted each of my children, and Hubby, with a "good morning".  Yep, before I even set foot near the coffee pot - I spoke to Hubby and the kids first.  It was hard.  The coffee was calling for me.  When I noticed the coffee hadn't even been made this morning when I got up, I almost lost it... but didn't.  I went to each child, in their bedrooms and said "good morning" and asked them how they slept.  I then went and made coffee.  No whining, no moaning, no yelling, no screeching, no head spinning around on my neck or eyes turning red.  I was completely calm and happy.


Have a great day, everyone!!

Till next time.  ;)

1 comment:

  1. So SO true. You can't even begin to fix the outside until the inside is at least in progress, LOL. Someone once told me that until I learn to let go of the anger and hatred in my heart, I will never lose weight. And they were so right. I guess we kind of eat our negative emotions along with the food.

    Great post!!


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