I Just Can't Do it Any More!

So, I've been going back and forth with the whole "I want this blog to be a weight loss blog" stuff for a few weeks now.  I thought that because I wasn't focusing my blog posts on weight loss topics, it was causing me to not focus on my weight loss - well, I've now determined that was a load of crap.

I don't know what ever gave me the idea that my writing this blog somehow had a hold over me.  It didn't.  It doesn't.  I write because I want to.  Having topic starters was great - but now I read back over my posts and I have to wonder..."is this really me?"  After much deliberation, I've come to the realization that no - it's not me.  I love my blog.  It is the place I come to vent, share, laugh, cry...not fret over whether or not my post is aligned with the "rules" that I created for myself.  I don't want rules.  I want to be able to talk about whatever is on my mind, be it weight loss, my personal life, or any other topic that has my interest for the moment. 

I made a big mistake in being wrapped up in the thought that people won't be interested in reading about my personal life.  Then I realized that I didn't really start this blog for other people to read - it's great having people that are interested in my life, but that's not what I want my blog to be all about.

Well, I've decided, I don't care about this blog being a "weight loss" blog anymore.  I'm not Jillian Michaels, and I am not qualified to spill out post after post of "weight loss advice".  I am me.  My life is my weight loss advice.  Sometimes it's not great advice.  I don't always see the results I want to see.  I'm fighting the fight to lose weight - but that's not the entire focus of what goes on in my life.  So I've decided I'm going back to writing about whatever the heck I want.  If people are interested, they'll read it.  If they're not, they won't. 

No more "do this and do that".  If you read the little blurb under the title of my blog before today it said "a journey to the realization that diets don't work, but sharing what does."  Well, I have been sharing for a very long time - that blurb is now gone.  The description of my blog finally says what it needs to: "How a mad, fat woman deals with kids, work, and school  and finding the way to becoming a crazy, thin woman.  That's what it should of said from day one.  My life is the journey to losing weight.  Sometimes I will succeed, sometimes I will not. 

From now on the topics of the day are gone.  It's going to me - raw, loud, telling it how it is, or how I think it should be.  My life is a crazy whirlwind - and I just need a place I can let it all out...this is the place.  Do you know how hard it is to make weight loss advice fun to read?  Damn near impossible - how so many people have read my blog is an amazement.  I want my blog to be fun to read - a story, of sorts.  I know that there's people out there that wonder how they deal with how much they have on their plates - well, I feel ya.  I know what it's like.  If I had any more on my plate, well, a plate isn't a good word - more like buffet table.  If I didn't get up at 4am each morning, I wouldn't even have time to write this blog.  Sometimes people just want to hear that they're not alone - there are others out there dealing with the crazy that is life.  That's what I want this blog to be about.

So, my friends, get ready for this blog to make yet another change.  You're probably used to it by now - I change the focus of this blog more than I care to recall.  Hopefully this is it.  No more prompts.  No more weight loss advice.  Just me.  Sometimes it will be fun, sometimes it won't.  But that's life - not always a bed of roses.  This is a diary about a mad, fat woman.  Not so fat anymore - but still mad. 

PNOTD:

"Pretending to be someone I'm not will never let the true me be free."

Till next time.  ;)