Thursday, October 07, 2010

Throwing it Out There - Oh Blog, How I Love Thee

I'm really glad I decided to change the name for Thursday's topic.  This blog doesn't exactly bring out my cheery side as often as I like - and I'm working on that - but I like to at least try and keep things more positive around here.

If there is anyone that is reading this blog that doesn't have one - I can tell you, this thing has changed my life!  If you do have a blog, then you probably know what I'm talking about. 

Every morning, it has become my ritual to come straight to my home office and share my life with anyone that's interested in reading about it.  I don't do it because I think my life is so important that everyone would love to read about it.  I'd do it if there wasn't a single person that chose to read it.  There for a while, that was the case.  My blog has become my pal, my confidone, the place I can share whatever is on my mind - and never worry that I might offend it.

Outside the realm of Blogland, I am somewhat of a different person.  I've told you all many, many times that I try to live my life full of positivity.  I really don't care for stress, I don't do well with venting my frustrations at actual people, and sometimes there's things I really need to say - but never quite know how to put into words... until I'm typing them.  Anyone that knows me, in person, would *hopefully* describe me as an outgoing, fun person.  I always have words of encouragement to share.  I love helping people.  I do what I can to put a smile on some one's face when they are a little down.  I offer a shoulder to cry on, and ear to talk in to, and two arms that are always willing to offer a hug when needed.  My blog is my me to me - does that make sense?

Now, I'm not trying to say that I don't have anyone to talk to out here in the real world.  I have an amazing fiance who is always willing to listen if I need to talk, I have a great bestie who shares some of my frustrations - and we do what we can to lift each other up when things get a little rough, and I have a loving mother who is always available at the other end of the phone willing to talk if I need it.  I utilize these resources often - but there's still nothing better than being able to come here and lay everything out...all of my feelings, all of my emotions, the goods, the bad.  It boils down to the fact that I just want to share what's on my mind.  I'm not necessarily looking for advice - more often than not, I'm trying to give it.  I'm not looking for anyone to feel sorry for me.  I'm not looking for kudos or praise when things are great....I just like to share.  I love the support that I receive from my followers - and having that unexpected support really makes my blog even more important to me. 

Before I became a daily blogger, I tried to be the person I am now.  I tried to be positive at all times.  The way I did it back then? I would lock up any bad feelings and ignore the stress.  You know what that got me?  Even more stressed or full of bad feelings.  I would snap at hubby or the kids for nothing.  I would lock myself away until I felt better.  I would get so frustrated, that the slightest little thing would have me breaking into tears.  It just hit me today how different things are now that I don't do any of those things anymore.  I can tolerate my kids fighting a lot more than I used to, I don't remember the last time I snapped at Hubby because I was having a bad day, I don't remember the last time I cried, either.  My mood is tranquil, clear, focused...I am truly at peace. 

Now, I know that it seems like I'm constantly complaining, whining, or venting on here.  Hopefully everything I just told you gives some explanation of that.  I need an outlet, this is my outlet.  No matter how I try to persuade myself that I don't "do" stress - the fact is, no one can live totally stress free.  It's how we chose to live with it - and I chose to let it flow from my fingers each and every morning.  Who can think of a better way to start the day? I can't.  I know that when I step away from this computer, I leave all of my stresses, frustrations, and curdling emotions right here.  I can go about my day full of positivity, full of excitement, and my days are so much more enjoyable. 

What started out as a tool to share my successes of weight loss, has now become so much more than that.  I realized a week ago that there are so many aspects that come into play when dealing with weight loss.  The most important aspect?  Life!  How we chose to live our lives is the ultimate factor in our weight.  When I was stressed, I turned to food.  When I was happy, I turned to food.  When I was sad, upset, and lonely, I turned to food...seeing a pattern here? Now, when I'm feeling all or any of these feelings - I come to the one place that can make me feel better - without adding any extra weight.  My dear, loving, blog.

What started out as a personal journal has bloomed into my number one motivation for success.  The support that I've gathered over the past eight months is really what I owe my success to.  If I decided not to work out, it wasn't a big deal - because I was the only one that knew.  If I made a goal for myself and didn't stick to it - who cares?  I wasn't holding myself accountable to anyone but myself.   Knowing that there are people out there reading what I have to say, listening to my vents, my rants, and my successes gives me the motivation I need to come back the next day.  My readers are my accountability.  Sometimes, I let you down - but the feeling of letting you down just motivates me that much more to try again.  Before my blog, the only person I ever let down was myself - and I lived with that...I didn't have a reason not to.  Now I do. 

So, the points of my long winded post for today?  If you're anything like I used to be, maybe you give Blogland a try.  You might be amazed at how much better you feel after pounding your feelings into a keyboard and then reading it on your screen.  The release of your worries literally transfer from you to the computer.  Second, what started out as just my outlet has now become my community of support.  My loyal followers that are always here to support me...and I'm not just talking about those that leave comments - I see how many people read my blog each day - I owe you every pound of success that I have accomplished.  Having the accountability that you give me has been what has gotten me through this journey thus far.  I have managed to lose more weight and stick with it longer than I EVER have before - and I totally, 100%, think that you - my dear, dear friends - are who I owe that success to.

Dry your eyes, the soppyness is over.  Now it's back to reality for me - and on with my day.  I do it feeling great, feeling motivated, and full of positive energy.

Don't count your accomplishments by the amount of people you help.  Count your accomplishments by the amount of people that are willing to help you achieve them.  

Till next time.  ;)    

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