Wishful Shopping

For the past couple of days, I've been walking on a fence.

I'm getting very excited about seeing all of the spring/ summer clothes appearing in every store - but I just don't want to buy anything.

I realized a couple of days ago that I have no warmer weather clothing that fits me this year.  I had to say goodbye to my enormous (no pun intended) summer clothing collection a few months ago.

Last summer, I bought capris in size 20s and then realized they were too big and had to wear a belt with them.  Then I bought some size 18s.  They all had to go before Christmas...because even a belt wasn't really helping - and they just looked way too big.

Now, I'm in a size 16.  That's what my pants are - and they fit well.

My dilemma now becomes - do I buy spring clothes in size 16? 

I could - but I don't want to.

I broke down the other day, when finding a very cute pair of khaki capris for the super low price of $3 (can't beat that)...however they are size 14s.

I tried them on when I got home - and I got them up...but I could not even get the zipper close enough to even think about zipping them.

So, I'm on a fence.

Do I just wait and see what happens in the next month or so....is it possible that I could shed enough pounds before the heat really kicks in to fit in to a size 14?

Maybe I buy just one or two pairs of capris in size 16?

It's frustrating.  As much as I want to be in a size 14 - and feel that it's very possible in the next couple of months....do I really want to wait it out?  The weather has already crept up to 70 a few days in the past week....I'm sure it's only going to be like that from here on out.

I guess it could be an added motivation... buy some size 14s and work my behind off to get in to them...not giving in until I hear the sweet sound of "zzziiiippp".

The difference between a size 16 and a size 14 is HUGE.... let me tell you why...

In the clothing stores where I live, size 16s are located in the Plus Size section of the store.  Size 14s are located in the women's section of the store.

It would mean the official jump from plus size to "normal" size.

I will share that I bought two pairs of stretch capris last weekend - for working out.  I bought them in the "women's" department..NOT in the plus size section.  Yes, I bought X-Large - but that translates to a size 14-16.  They fit - very well, I might add.  Sure, they're made of stretchy material...but they're not super tight, either.

Being an unpaid intern means money is extremely tight.  I am on a budget.  I have to be careful when shopping.  It's hard to think about buying clothing that I might only wear a month or two.  That could be the case in this situation.  If I start out with size 16s...I could only be wearing them for a couple of months.  Then I buy size 14s...and it's not long before the weather is cooling down and I'm looking for warmer clothes.

Don't think this post is a rant - because I'm not upset.  I'm actually really happy to be in this dillema.  Before last year, I kept the same summer wardrobe for the previous 5 or 6 years.  I never had to worry about buying new clothes...because my size 24s and 26s fit year after year.  I didn't have to worry about style - because, come on...the last thing I was thinking about was displaying my huge butt in the top of line clothing.  Just having shorts or capris that fit - and having the cahones to wear them out in public (which I often didn't) was enough.

Now, I want to flaunt my success.  Wearing capris and shorts - now that I'm 4 sizes smaller is a HUGE victory.  I'm now thinking about style - how I will look. 

Two years ago, the thought of going clothes shopping made me sick to my stomach...I knew I was heading for a day of frustration, anger, and sadness because everything I tried on looked terrible.

Now, I love going clothes shopping.  I love seeing the changes I'm making.  I love having people say "wow, you look amazing" or "my goodness, you don't even look like the same person".

That reminds me - I have a great story to share with you.

On Thursday, I got to see a doctor that I worked with 8 years ago.  I have not seen him since.  When I walked in to his office - he had no idea who I was.  He told me that Butter (he is Butter's new doctor) had mentioned to him that I knew him...but he couldn't figure out from where.

I told him that I worked with him.  He asked for my name.  I gave it to him.  His mouth hit the floor.

In his sweetest of voices he said "I hope I don't sound offensive, but am I right in thinking that when you worked for me you was a woman of a very large size?"  I laughed and said "yep, that was me".  Mouth back to floor.

He sat there for a long time shaking his head.  Long enough that I started to feel a little uncomforable - and I guess he noticed.  He apologized and told me that he just could not believe how different I looked.  He told me that I looked amazing, and asked how I had managed to lose "all" of the weight.  I told him that I still had a ways to go...but I had just started eating healthier and working out and the weight started falling off.

He recollected my having to miss work because I was having a "bad knee day" or having to sit down frequently at work because it was hard for me to be on my feet too long.  He openly admitted the worry he had for me back then - being in my early twenties and being so overweight.  We discussed my love for American Idol - and that I had won a trip to go and see an AI taping in California...and how upset I was about finding clothes to wear.  We talked for a long time.... but it was nice.  Seeing that kind of reaction - from a doctor no less - made it really set into my heart why I'm doing what I'm doing.

OK - so I digress...back to shopping...

So - what would you do if you were me?

Should I hold off another month?
Should I buy just a couple of things in size 16?

Till next time. ;)

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