Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Only I Can Be in Pain After a Day of Sitting and Doing Nada....

Not very happy this morning.  I woke up with a nasty pain under my right shoulder blade that's killing me anytime I move.

I need a new bed.  That's all there is to it.  Oh, and someone to massage the kink out of my back...it hurts, and I don't like it.

Pain like this usually comes from pulling a muscle - you know, like after you do something strenuous.  Not me...nope.  I hurt my back by sleeping.  That will teach me.  Sleeping is dangerous...or maybe it's my bed....whatever it is.. it hurts!!

So, yesterday was my first day at work.  I'm going to be honest.  It was boring.  VERY boring.  I sat in a room with about 15 other people from the various Head Start sites, and from various positions...all new hires.  We filled out tons and tons of paperwork.  We watched videos.  We listened while we were read snippets from the employee handbook.  Sounds like a fun day, right?

I'm a lot more excited about today.  Today, I go to my center for the first time.  I meet my director and co-workers for the first time.  I get to see my classroom for the first time.  I'm sure there will be a lot more training and watching videos today - but at least I'll actually get a feel of where I'll be and what I'll be doing. 

I'll admit.  Yesterday was bittersweet.  While I sat in that room signing yet another form, I couldn't help let my mind wander to my friends who were starting their first day in the public schools.  Getting to meet their kiddos in that setting for the first time.  Going over new procedures and classroom rules.  I still have two weeks before I meet my kiddos.

Despite that, I'm keeping a positive outlook. 

Being told about the amounts of assessments and parent-teacher conferences and anecdotal records I'll be doing really perked my interest.  I mean, that's teacher experience GOLD right there.  Any teacher, regardless of grade or school, spends a LOT of time doing assessments and keeping records and making portfolios.... I'll be doing the same.  So, at the end of the year, if I choose to pursue finding a position in the public schools - I'll have that to boast on my resume.

I'm still very nervous.  That's only to be expected.  I'm meeting the people I will be spending the next school year with today.  They didn't have a say in hiring me - they've never even met me.  I'm worried they may not like me....I mean, I seem to sometimes have that affect on people, apparently.

It's so weird to me not even meeting my boss before starting work.  I'm used to interviewing with a person, making a connection, and then being offered a position to work with that person because of that connection.  I'm not sure there were any connections when I interviewed with the Human Resources director.  I was turned down for the job, at first.  I wonder how many other people were offered my position before they finally offered it to me?

That's scary.

On top of that.  The person I will be working for wasn't in that interview.  She didn't get to talk to me or ask me questions or get a feel for who I am and what I'm like.  I'm sure she got to read the responses to my interview questions - but who can really get a feel for a person based on that? 

Maybe this situation works in my favor.

Seriously.  It can't hurt - right?  Things didn't exactly go well with interviewing for other positions.  It's so hard to show someone what you're really like when you're not being grilled in an interview.  I get nervous.  I turn in to a rigid puppet - trying to answer the questions the best that I know how... but in a way that sounds professional.  I want to give a good impression, but I often wonder if I didn't come off as a tape recorded version of a text book.

Today, my boss gets to meet me outside of that environment.  She'll get the "real me".  Maybe that's good.  Maybe that's bad. The jury is still out on that one.  I am who I am.  I know people that love that about me - and then there are those that smile to my face, but I can tell from that smile that are imagining flaming pokers sticking out of my eyeballs and savage beasts clawing the flesh from my skin.  Yeah, I can tell.

I consider myself a very friendly person... I feel that I can get along with just about everyone. 

Even though I think that about myself, I know there are others that would use different words to describe me.  I mean, when push comes to shove, I only have two very close friends.  I have other people that I consider friends - but I know that they never think of me when going out, or they would never pick up the phone and call me just to see how I'm doing.  I can't even begin to tell you how many times I send a text or a Facebook message to someone just to say hi and see how they're doing - and never get a response.

OK - I'm totally going off on a direction I never intended to here.  This was supposed to be a post about me being excited to meet the people I'm working with.  I'm getting myself all worked up over nothing. 




So, it's time for me to get ready for my first real day at work.  I am excited.  I know that I will be fine.  I will be myself.... I will take in everything I can.  I will look to the future with hope and excitement.  One day at a time.  That's all I can do.

Here I go..... Have a great Tuesday, everyone!!

Till next time. ;)
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1 comment:

  1. I love that your blog posts are in the morning now, perfect reading over breakfast. Have a great second day, friend!! All your nerves are to be expected, but you will be fine.


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