Monday, August 15, 2011

We Meet Again 4am

It's not actually's closer to 4:50 now, but I have already taken a shower...I was up at 4am.

The return of the 4am wake-ups are upon me.

When I tell people I get up at 4am on work days, I get a look that can only be described as a look I'd see if I had fungus growing from my nose and eyeballs.  You know, face all scrunched up - totally disgusted.  Then I get that shocked "Why on earth would you get up that early?"

Well, in all honesty, this time of the day is my most favorite time of the day - and I've actually missed it.

I don't actually leave for work until between 6 and 6:30am.  I get up at 4am because the house is completely silent.  There is no TV, no children running through the house, no arguing, no yelling, not a single sound....even the dog stays in bed for at least another hour before getting up to bother me.

It's the time of day that I can just sit back, relax, enjoy a cup of coffee....and write my blog.

I get almost two hours completely to myself to clear my mind and prepare for the day's events.  Writing my blog goes a lot smoother...and I am just in a good mood at this time of day.  Something that has obviously been lacking this summer.  Maybe I should have gotten up at 4am every day - regardless of not actually having to go anywhere.  Oh well...too late for that now.  The summer break is officially over.

I feel much better today than I did yesterday.  I think maybe it's the magic of the hour.  I love this time of day so much, that it can actually put me in a good mood, make me feel calmer.  I'm excited to hear about the job that awaits.  I'm eager to learn more about it - who I'm going to be working with, how things will work, when I get to see my classroom.

I have so many questions, and I honestly think that the fear and anxiety I described yesterday is because I have so many questions and such little information.  I know I will feel much better after today.

I have no idea what's in store for me in the next two weeks.  I only know that it's going to be two weeks before I get any kiddos.  I'm partly relieved by that - because it allows me more time to get into the center and learn more about it.  I'm also partly disappointed - because, well, I'm ready for some kiddos!!

One thing I did know for sure this morning when I woke up:  I'm ready to get back to trying to lose weight. Whaaaattt???  Yep, you read that need to get your eyesight checked.

I'm not sure why it hit me this morning.  Again, it could be the time of day.  It could be that I have some kind of pull over me.... when I'm working I'm happy, when I'm happy I'm motivated to lose weight.  It could have also been the fact that I'm now worried what I'm going to wear to work - because my pants are starting to get too tight...and that's no bueno!!  I can't let that happen!!

I bought clothes last year to work in - I need those same clothes this year.  The only time I'm buying more clothes is once I go down another size. Period.  I'm not about to even think about going up a size.  I will be sucking it in and feeling miserable for a while - but that's the price I pay for letting myself go as bad as I did.  I hate knowing I've been going in the wrong direction for months - but now its the time to turn it all around.

Do you see what I'm talking about now with the 4am thing?  When was the last time you heard me this optimistic??  Huh??  Come on, you can be honest.... it's been a while.  I know. 

I'm excited to be getting back into my structured routine.  Get up at 4am.  Leave for work at 6:30am.  Work until 4.  Come home.  Have dinner.  Go for a run.  Help the kids with homework.  An hour of TV.  Bed.  Rinse, then repeat.  That's my life - and exactly how I like it.

When something kinks with that schedule, I end up....well, you've all been witnesses to what happens when that schedule is messed up - you've been reading about it for the past two months!!  While I was getting ready yesterday, I found my planner.  My planner is my life when I'm working - and I hugged it yesterday as if it were a lost child...seriously...not kidding.  I got a little choked up with joy and excitement knowing that I was going to get to use it again.  Then I got panicky because it only lasts until December.  I really need to find a school year planner...its now on top of my wish list the minute I get my first pay check.  It's more important that car payments and phone bills!  Seriously,  I can't make this stuff up! 

So, my friends, I am back.  I've been hiding in realm of 4am....waiting for the day that I awaken with excitement and motivation....and the yearning for a silent cup of coffee. 

Now you know why my 4am wake-ups are so important.  I need this time.  It helps.  I feel so much better already.

Now, it's time to get ready for my big day....and I couldn't be happier.

To all of my friends who are starting their teaching careers today:  You are so blessed, and so are those kiddos that are lucky enough to have you as a teacher this year.  You have fulfilled your dream.  Take this day and cherish it for the rest of your life.  Good luck!!  I will be thinking about you all, and can't wait to hear how it goes!!

To all of my friends not starting their teaching career today:  I know you may feel disheartened.  I'm right there with ya.  I prayed for a position in the schools, too.  I'm not going to give up on that dream - and neither will you.  Just because it didn't happen yet does NOT mean it's not going to happen.  Every one of you are amazing people - and will be amazing teachers.  Things will work out, and in the end - all of our dreams will be fulfilled.  It may not be today, tomorrow, or even this school year - but the day will come where we will share in the moment of pure joy of setting up our own classrooms and preparing for the students to arrive.  This year will be about doing the best we can, regardless of where we are or what we're doing.  The time will come!!

Till next time. ;)
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  1. Have a wonderful time at work (not sure of the time difference, I'm in Australia). It sounds like you have found what works for you :)

  2. You're going to have a wonderful year!


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