Well, now I have a job.
OK, I haven't started the job yet - but from the moment I said "I do".. urm, I mean "I will"... I started to think about getting back on the weight loss horse. In honesty, I was a little overwhelmed. I've let myself fall pretty far. Then, I came across this nugget of pure genius written by my buddy Michelle... take a look at her blog post about using a different technique in gaging weight loss success.
I hope you read it....or this won't make any sense to you.
I will say right now...this post is going to be..urm...well, raunchy. I'm talking about sex, people. It's stepping out of my "family friendly" comfort zone and in to uncharted territory. You have been warned.
Michelle says that creating "The list" can help a person gauge their weight loss success based on their comfortableness (is that a word?) on the person from the list. I have a list...I've had one forever. The people change occasionally.... I think I even mentioned the list a few weeks back on my blog.
So, the idea is to come up with the people to put on the list. The list of people that, if the situation should ever arise, would give me full rights to sleep with that said person - and Hubby can't say anything about it. It's the law or something, I'm pretty sure.
The number one rule is that only famous people can be on the list....dead or alive. The other rules can be determined with your spouse... but what's the fun in any more rules?
Being the optimistic person I am - I don't put dead people on my list. I just keep telling myself that as long as live people are on my list... it's possible that one of these famous Gods of Hotness would somehow run in to me, strip off their clothes, and call me to be their lover. Hey, a girl can dream right?
I remember Patrick Swayze always being on my list....it took a while to remove him, he was number one for a long time. RIP my Original God of Hotness.
OK, back to how it helps with losing weight....so, you make the list. Then you decide how you would need to look/feel in order to be comfortable being with the person. Number 5 on your list may be someone you'd totally feel comfortable being with right now... with the lights out. Number 4 is someone you'd be comfortable with the lights on - wearing lingerie. Number 3, you can lose the lingerie... Etc, etc.
Does that make sense? Hopefully.... if not, here's my list and my "requirements" to help motivate me to success.
I'd just like to add here that before I start getting any comments bashing me about how I should not be measuring my success by my comfortablity with a man...remember, this is a game of sorts. I'm not actually preparing myself to jump in the sack with any of these men. It just puts a different perspective on the comfortableness (again with that word) of how I feel about my body...which I feel is important with weight loss success. OK, disclaimer over.
I'm going to start with number 5, and work my way down to my number 1 total God of Hotness...
Name: Daniel Sunjata
Known for: Playing Franco on Rescue Me
There's something about a guy in uniform, I admit it. When I'm watching Rescue Me each week, I'm imagining this hunk of hotness climbing up a ladder and rescuing me from a burning building...that probably caught fire from his hotness.
In order for me to feel comfortable with Daniel Sunjata, I'd say I'd like to hit Onederland. I'm thinking he'd be OK with some curves (in my mind). It'd be a night of wearing a sexy gown - that would stay on. Lights would be OK - as long as it was dim light... maybe candles?
Name: Dwayne Johnson
Known for: Duh...being The Rock!! Oh, and looking extremely hot in tights playing the Tooth Fairy
Since seeing this sexy hunk hit the ring as a WWE wrestler, Dwayne (yeah, first name basis) has always been on my list. He's become higher up since becoming the hilarious, ass kicking actor....and again, he wore tights!!
To release myself to Dwayne, I'd like to fit in to a size 12/14 gown and be shown a nice night out on the town. Then it's back to his place. Still not comfortable with lights on at this point... but he'd be able to get me down to my underwear in the dark.
Name: Kellen Lutz
Known for: Being the super hot vampire Emmet Cullen on Twilight
Kellen was holding on to my number 2 spot until the appearance of my new number 1. He's hot, he's sexy, and he works a LOT with charity. Yes, a hot guy with a sensitive side. Just look at those beautiful blue eyes....swoon.
For me to be comfortable snuggling up to this hottie, it would take some major work on my part. He's very athletic, and I'd want to be able to show off some athletic ability, also. This would mean having completed a full 5K without walking (at least). In terms of size, I'd say I'd be just as comfortable in a 12/14 as long as I had some muscle to show with my curves. I'd also want lights on - cause I'd want to see those gorgeous eyes looking at me.
Name: Dax Shepard
Known for: Movies such as Employee of the Month, and he's also on Parenthood
I have had a super crush on Dax since I first saw him punking superstars on Punk'd. He's hot, he's funny...and he has the lips of an angel. He was my number 1 for years...until a new sheriff moved in to town.
A night with Dax would be a very intimate occasion for me - and one that I wouldn't take too lightly. Candle light would be a must - but so would a body I'd feel comfortable showing off in sexy lingerie. I'm saying we're moving into size 8/10 territory with this one.
And that brings us to the final man on my list....the king in terms of my personal Gods of Hotness...
Known for: Being the super hot vampire sheriff on True Blood
Now, this is the one person that gets to be on my list and be dead...because...well...he's a vampire. I want Eric Northman - not Alexander Skasgard, the guy that plays him. There's something about his pale skin, gorgeous eyes, and the way his fangs pop out of his teeth that boils my blood and makes me lust for him. He can totally suck my blood.
Eric Northman is the guy that I will fall in to bed with only after reaching my goal weight. This would be a full night of lights on, total nakedness. My body will have to be banging hot for me to be able to feel totally comfortable with the sheriff of darkness. He's the guy I'm saving myself for...once I reach my goal weight that is.
So, there you have it my friends. My List. And my super crazy way of measuring my weight loss success. Yep, I did it with using guys....guys that I lust for, but will never (probably) have the chance to do anything with.
It beats looking at the scale, grabbing the measuring tape, and then coming up with random rewards for meeting certain goals. Knowing that I've achieved List Status for one of my potential hook-ups is a totally awesome way to boost my motivation...however crazy, and unrealistic it is. It just throws in a little excitement.
What do you think? Do you have a list? Are there certain weight loss/body goals you'd have to consider before allowing these celebs into your bed? You know what's coming next...right? Yep - I want to hear about it. Either in the comments or on your own blog...let me know your list.
Again, for anyone that may find this post to be offensive or you want to tell me how I shouldn't use a man's thoughts to measure my success...please don't. For the past Lord knows how long, I've hidden in a dark place and been the only member of a self induced pity party. I'm ready to break out of that shell - and today I did it in a big way. The point of this post was to HAVE FUN. It's just fun and games. And it's the first weight-loss related post I've written in a long time. Cut me some slack...m'kay?
Till next time. ;)
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